oh the guilt!
when i was young - only 4 or 5 - i used to go into work with my mum one day a week. across the road from her office (she worked for refuge insurance) there was a large toy shop. this being the 70s and a time of childish innocence i was able to mooch over the road during the day and look around. one day i helped myself to a ball - tennis ball size and rubber, filled with air. the fun i had with that ball was special - it was mine and only i knew how i'd got it! the following week when we arrived at her work the shop had closed down - for a long time i carried the heavy weight of shame that the loss of that ball had caused the shop to go out of business; why else would it have closed??

it led to a lifetime of adolescent crime - i stole a pen from the local newsagent and took it back to get the cash. i stole posters from wh smiths, i used to steal clothes from fosters - honestly, you just went in the changing rooms with 3 items and then just walked out the store wearing them! oooh, i stole fags from the local co-op - they had no entrance bell and the checkout woman used to loaf in the back, get in quietly and the fags were yours! i also robbed 100, yes 100, scratch cards - this was pre-national lottery bear in mind - and won £5, proof that scratch cards are for mugs! my ultimate downfall came during a school trip to a museum when i was collared nabbing a fecking ashtray - suspension, caning (yeah, i'm THAT old) and a note home for my mum... i gave up after that... well, except for the odd fosters rob - it was just too easy....

that's only a bit of what i robbed - i'm quite shocked actually...
( sir loafalot ended an eon of lurking on, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 17:50, Reply)