Oh god, I'd forgotten about this
A few years ago the ex and me went to visit some of her friends over in Ruislip. We had a few drinks, and repaired to the offie to pick up a few more. We bought the drinks, but something caught my eye. This being the days before chip 'n' pin, they kept a cup full of pens on the counter. A rather fetching plastic cup in the shape of Jar Jar Binks's head. When the shop assistant's back was turned, I picked it up, pens and all, and dumped it in my bag. Everyone else there saw it, plus the whole shop was CCTVed up to the eyeballs so I knew my crime would not go unnoticed for long. I scarpered back to the house and we carried on drinking.

The next morning, with a hangover from hell, I awoke to find Jar Jar staring accusingly at me. I felt guilty as fuck, and then the paranoia started to creep in. I was terrified for weeks that the video footage would come back to haunt me, and that I'd be arrested for such a stupid, petty crime. I've never been to Ruislip since, and I left Jar Jar behind at the ex's friends' house, too ashamed to even take my prize home.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 0:18, 5 replies)

While
other people might condemn you for being a petty thief, my only criticism is that you wanted a Jar Jar Binks piece of merchandise.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 0:45, closed)

This ^^

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 12 Jan 2008, 0:58, closed)

I'm with belms
jar jar stinks
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 2:24, closed)

I was drunk
I probably thought I was being ironic or something
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 12 Jan 2008, 10:51, closed)

imaginitive use of the head
i can think of no better use for the head of jar jar binks.
(pogo_it, Mon 14 Jan 2008, 12:47, closed)