Fast runner
I worked for a well known purveyor of sports clothing, the one the rioters really like. A fella came in with a pair of trainers in a box that he said were faulty. However, before he would show them me he said that they were his sons, and his son doesn't lie. Ever. So before I look at them I have to understand that his son is telling the truth. Ok, says I, lets have a look whats happened.

He took out a shoe that was pretty much brand new, no damage, bit of muck on it but otherwise fine. Then he took out the second shoe. This looked as though it had been attacked with a blowtorch. The sole and midsole was totally melted. You know when you have a pizza, and lift a slice up, and the cheese goes stringy? There were whisps of rubber like that. This was a pair of Nike running shoes, visible air bubble and all. It was completely gone.

He said his son was running in the playground and decided he needed to speed up to overtake his friend and he must have gone so fast that he melted the sole. But just one of them. As you can imagine, I'm struggling to remain professional here. Theres a grin creeping up on me that is getting hard to resist. I asked how old his son was, 15 was the answer. So we've got a potential Usain Bolt on our hands here it seems. I pointed out that world class sprinters would wear shoes of this ilk and that wouldnt happen, but no, his son doesn't lie.

20 minutes later I'm still not getting through to him that some external heat source, other than friction, must have been applied to it. We'd been round and round and round and he was starting to make a scene, telling other customers that I was selling defective shoes etc. So I said as a gesture of goodwill I'd send the shoes of to head office for them to inspect, maybe they could send them to Nike or something. He agreed to this.

Fast forward 3 days and the bloke at head office is on the phone pissing himself at the story. They're not getting swapped so they're coming back to the customer. I rang the guy when they arrived and far from being angry with me, he was very cordial and almost sheepish. He agreed to come and pick the shoes up. When he arrived he said his son had a confession to make. Turns out his mate had nicked his shoe during a lesson and hidden it. On top of a boiler/radiator or something. It had melted the sole and keen to avoid a pasting from angry dad, he'd made up his sprinting story.

That was one of the saner customers we used to get.
(RainKing What do I put here then?, Thu 10 May 2012, 14:17, 1 reply)

And the dad believed him?
Wouldn't have happened in my day - parents believed other adults in favour of you for almost everything.

This is still the best policy - the only exceptions should be talk of inappropriate touching, but otherwise... - kids will make up almost anything to get themselves what they want/out of trouble. I bloody did.

That graffiti I wrote on the garage wall in two-foot-high black gloss lettering? No dad, that wasn't me. It must have been someone else with my name... someone else who has made the mile-and-a-half trip to our house form the nearest habitation just to write my name on our garage wall. But it wasn't me, honest...
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 11 May 2012, 12:25, closed)