Awkward Christmas mornings
When I was a student I had a weekend and holiday job at a popular chain of catalogue-based retailers. There were many low points to the job, but the lowest of all was the horrendous Christmas period. It was insanely busy beforehand, with queues out the door and an endless stream of parents who got very unhappy when you told them the 'in' toy that year was out of stock. Then, once you had survived the pre-Christmas period, you got the influx of people bringing unwanted junk back.

After going through this cycle a couple of times, in the third year I decided I was going to get some revenge on Joe Public. I used to work all over the shop, sometimes on the tills, sometimes on the collection desk, but it was when I was working in the stockroom that my opportunity presented itself.

One of the big toys that year was the 'Magna Doodle' - a drawing board kind of like an Etch-a-sketch, but with a pen (and therefore more chance of producing a legible drawing) instead of dials. We had LOADS of them, probably thirty or more, in a great pile in the stockroom. One Sunday morning, in a spare bit of time before the doors opened and the crowds descended, I found myself in one of the toy aisles and noticed the Magna Doodle boxes were not sealed at the end, meaning one could extract and replace the toy with no sign of tampering. My plan was formed.

Initially, I removed one, wrote a naughty word on it, and carefully placed it back in the box. My crime complete, I was pretty satisfied, as I thought about little Johnny opening his present on Christmas morning and asking his parents what WANKSOCK meant. But then, the excitement of it all got the better of me. In the next ten minutes or so, I defaced every single one, starting with rude words and then progressing into drawings of an ever increasingly explicit nature.

Amazingly, this really was the perfect crime as there was zero fallout afterwards. No-one ever brought one back, or complained - maybe older brothers or sisters got the blame instead. I still smile when I imagine all of those awkward Christmas morning discussions.
( propellerhed, Thu 10 May 2012, 16:52, 4 replies)

I hope
you are properly ashamed of yourself.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 10 May 2012, 18:40, closed)

I hope
you are properly chuffed with yourself. Well pranked.
(technocore, Fri 11 May 2012, 2:18, closed)

you bastard...
...i'm still scarred from that xmas - 3 hours I spent explaining what fucksocks were to my dear departed mother...
(NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:02, closed)

Are Magna Doodles
enough like etch-a-sketches that they'd just be blank due to being shaken too much by the time little Johnnie had it in his grubby little mitts on Christmas morning?
( Fronds are waving gently on, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:58, closed)