Poo Patrol
In my teenage years I worked as a shelf stacker in a well-known posh supermarket. The work was dull but they paid the best rate per hour in the area and you got a nice bonus at the end of the year for doing your job.

It was a standard Saturday afternoon and I was filling the shelves with washing powder when an elderly guy taps me on shoulder. He's literally hopping up and down on the spot and glowing red when he asks if I can point him in the direction of the gents. I politely explained that the store didn't have a public toilet, so in his obvious and growing desperation he asked if he could possibly use the staff loos. This was a new one for me, so I asked him to hold tight while I ask the store manager's permission.

The store manager initially said no, but changed him mind when I explained the guy looked like he was about to shit himself in the aisle. The staff toilets were in the locker room, so the guy was allowed to use to toilet on the condition that I escorted him there and back and stood outside the cubicle to ensure he wasn't trying to steal any valuables.

The guy sprinted up the stairs to the toilets and dived into the cubicle. What followed was five of the most excruciating minutes of my life as I was forced to listen to an old fellow empty his bowels while moaning in obviously relief. I hadn't had time to explain that I would need to wait outside the cubicle, so as he emerged he was clearly shocked and embarrassed to see me there.

I led him back down to the store to reunite him with his wife who had obviously been worried about him. It was only as he gave her a hug that I noticed the enormous shit stain right down the back of his cream slacks. I guess he didn't quite make it afterall.
(BinDipper, Fri 11 May 2012, 9:39, 2 replies)

Good for you
for getting permission for the old fella to use the bogs. I can imagine many shop people saying they'd go off to ask the manager, go out the back for a cuppa and not come back.

Your story has reminded me of a similar store-crappery episode, which I can now post.
(harrypitta friends with the chilli saucerer, Fri 11 May 2012, 14:49, closed)

Good for you
for getting permission for the old fella to use the bogs. I can imagine many shop people using their initiative and allowing a person in obvious distress to use them without permission. I shudder to think what kind of nightmare world that'd create.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 12 May 2012, 14:34, closed)