I work for a DIY chain
. I won’t say which one but I have to dress like an inmate from Guantanamo Bay. I have encountered most of the idiots. Sometimes I answer the phone with customers asking questions such as “How much paint do I need to paint my house?”
“I`m sorry, I have not seen your house, how big is it?”
“Average size”.
Scummers that "Forget" to pay for things in their trolley.
I sold a blind man a huge hammer drill as he wanted to remove tiles in his bathroom.
The woman who was `in a hurry` that decided to stop and complain for twenty minuets that she had to queue like everyone else.
Our trolley boy who hides near the burger van, brings one trolley back at a time and carries a bag full of hard core porn.
We found a homeless man asleep in the gulley between the shelves who told us to "Fuck off" as he was trying to get some sleep.
Constantly explaining to customers that if the paint is "Buy one get one free" you don`t get to keep the free one and get a full refund on the one you bring back, you get half of what you paid back .
Someone telling me that it was "illegal" for me not to refund an item even though he had no receipt and we didn't stock it. He was going to his solicitor, I asked him to let me know how he got on.
A fat man throwing half a door handle at me because I refused a refund because we don't sell just half a door handle.
I also had a customer try to bring back some wallpaper, that had been hung then taken down, as it was “Upside down”. They wondered why they wouldn’t get refunded.
(Orkstomper, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:51, 3 replies)

I shop there myself, but I can imagine that you get more than your average quota of thick shits in B&Q. By demographic, it's probably up there with the patrons of Iceland & Peacocks.
(harrypitta friends with the chilli saucerer, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:32, closed)

How many of your colleagues have tick at the burger van.
This seems to go on at every b&q.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:44, closed)

A lot of them do, also a lot of them will not buy anything from the disease infested grease wagon. I have heard from a couple of my female colleagues about the wench that runs it making a mess in the ladies then leaving without as much as looking at the soap.
(Orkstomper, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:23, closed)