Poo Story Pearoast?
Gotta repost the first story for relevance.

My younger brother was now I think about it 5 or 6, whilst it was actually me about 9 or 10 years old.
He had a liking for prunes and I didn't cos they smell horrible and look like shrivelled bollocks.

Nonetheless, he eats them, so more fool him.

Our mum had bought one of those 1kg tubs of prunes the size of a paint can, and he decided to eat as many as he could.

"Don't eat too many," I said, "You'll get the shits really bad."

"No I won't!"

"Ok, your funeral," says mum.

Sure enough, about 30 minutes later, there are about 20 left from this huge tub.

We continue, sitting around watching tv, when all of a sudden, he sits bolt upright, screams "OHMYGOD" and runs up the stairs, clutching his arse.

He rushed into the bathroom, and hurriedly took his trousers down, heading for the toilet.

However, the jet-propelled Niagara Falls of liquid shit started coming hurriedly out BEFORE he managed to properly sit on the toilet, meaning that his arsehole was directly above the toilet seat as he started.

As such, he slipped off the seat, and spun 180 degrees, landing on his chest, whilst the shit was still fountaining out of him.

He slid across the floor, propelled by the frictionless diarrohea and the sheer force of it still coming out.

"Mum!" he yelled, "Help!"

Needless to say, we both ran to see, and found it an extremely funny and sickening sight to behold.

There was shit everywhere. He sandblasted the walls, the floor, himself, even THE CEILING, with shit.

It was sickening. Yet very funny.

Length? About an hour cleaning up.

**********

More recently he has turned into and slightly out of being a bastardly chav child.

Example being him accompanying me to lug equipment whilst I Djed a private party, getting utterly sauced on others drinks (at 14 years old) and copping off with a 14-year-old oompa loompa girl with a fat black eye.

Then proceeding to piss all over my floor when waking up in a drunken stupor at 5am.


Most recent thing he did was knit me a nice jumper though, so thats ok.

He'll do.
(fantomex, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 15:24, 1 reply)

Fucking hell i just laughed so hard milk came out my nose...
...and im drinking water

one *click* for you good sir!
(MungBean is still awake on, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 0:51, closed)