This qotw is much like a visiting silbing you haven't seen for a while...
At first, you're really pleased to see them and glad to be in their company.

Then, after a week or so, you've fallen out and you're wishing they would just get the feck out.
(dxg, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 22:40, 2 replies)

My bro
There's quite a big gap between me and my brother -- almost eleven years, in fact -- which means we've tended to fight tooth and nail ever since he was born. He was always sniffing around me like a little puppy when we were kids, always doing his best to annoy me in that special little way that only younger siblings can. Of course, he got away with murder, what with being so much younger than everyone else and knowing just when to turn on the waterworks.

Despite this, and all of the irritation he's caused me over the years -- including one memorable incident where he 'accidentally' set one of my girlfriends a little bit on fire (a story for later, methinks, when I have more time to type it out in its glorious fullness) -- I've always been incredibly protective of him. For a kid, he's had an extremely tough life. He not only suffers from pituitary dwarfism (which means that, even though he's only about three feet tall, he's still roughly in the right proportion, and not particularly stocky), but also from Crohn's disease, which meant he had to have an operation when he was about six to remove a section of his small intestine that was so badly inflamed it was in serious danger of killing him. As a result, he's only capable of absorbing about half of the nutrients his body takes in, leading him to be ridiculously underweight (to the extent that, even in a family of beanpoles, he sticks out as being excessively skinny).

He's ten now, and weighs no more than about three and a half stone.

He ain't heavy, but...

/coat
(Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 22:14, 6 replies)

My little sis
She wanted Guitar Hero, and what she wants, she gets.
So she goes out and buys two things. The Rock Band peripheral guitar and Guitar Hero : Aerosmith.
I told her they wouldn't work together and she promtly had a screaming headfit, told me I was wrong and left the house.
Next day: admits I was right, buys correct set of games...
Funniest thing is, I'm pretty sure she has never listened to Aerosmith, and bought it for the craic.
(at least I get to play it now... bring on Santeria!)
(Affero-Dolor made noodles using a cuppa soup on, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 21:35, 1 reply)

too late
I haven't got a sibling story: I wanted to add my piece to the procrastination topic but it's closed. Bugger, eh?
(Crocodile, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 20:24, 1 reply)

I had a brother
But Thatcher took him away.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 17:51, 2 replies)

Pet.
My sister is fantastic. She blurts out the oddest stuff.


My sister recently moved in with her boyfriend and decided she wanted, no NEEDED, a pet.

I attempted to steer her in the direction of a Tarantula (no reason really, just thought it was a good idea at the time).

Yesterday whilst visiting my mums place she gets a text from my sister and decides to call her.
My sister informs my mum that she's purchased a hamster.
"It's black so it needed a black name" says sis.
"What did you call it?" says my baffled mum.
"Winnie" says sis.
"Like Winnie the Pooh?" inquires mum.
"No, like Winnie Mandela" says sis.
(When I heard "black name" i thought she was going to say Sooty or Smokey or something like that.)


Also, last week we had my cousin, his mum and cousin's moody girlfriend around with their baby to visit. Christmas and all that.
They sat there for close to 3 hours barely speaking and being extremely over-protective with their kid.
(Understandable but they usually let my sister and extremely well trained mother (creche worker) hold the kid.)
Eventually they leave and they're barely 2 steps out of the door when my sister screams out in disgust "FAT PAIR OF IGNORANT BASTARDS!"

I think thats the first time she's swore infront of our mum.
(Who was 70% amused - 30% shocked.)
(tylrdiablos, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 15:57, 3 replies)

Chess
My younger sister is here for the weekend, with her 9 year old son.

He's become interested in chess, and was asking me about how the various pieces move. I'm not that much of an expert on the subject, and some of his school friends were insisting that a pawn could take a piece directly in front of it in some cases.

I'm not sure about that, but I know there are some strange cases where pieces can move in a different way.

So, cue sister walking in whilst I say: "Look, I'm not sure, just search for pawn in google, and that should tell you".

Oops.
(Mucky has squinted at the screen with one eye shut since, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 13:10, 8 replies)

Siblings is my specialist subject.
I know all about them. I have one older brother, 2 younger brothers, one step sister and one step brother.

I can't actually think of a story worth telling in detail here, but on our list of the many wrongdoings between us:

Me stabbing youngest brother in the stomach with a penknife. I got away scott free on this one, with everyone else convinced he did it to himself.

Stepbrother pulling a knife in the school library and subsequently getting expelled.

Younger brother sucking on a teapot when very young, and living on ice lollies for a few days after hours of blood-curdling screams.

Me cracking my head open on the garden steps - still got a nice scar from that one.

Collectively we convinced the step sister that the capital of England was Birmingham. After she'd said it was London. Not so funny, tricking a little girl? She must have been 13 at the time.

Eldest brother breaking his then-girlfriend's arm during a hockey match. Didn't see much of her again.

The best one by far for me, in terms of idiocy, was from youngest brother, and always is. He will strongly deny this, but as a scout he's got a fair bit of camping stuff, including stove fuel. He decided this was great fun to pour onto his wooden floor and light. Some ran under his divan bed and started burning it, some caught a shirt and a tshirt which promptly went up. It was only me hearing his panicked running back and forth to the bathroom that caused me to get up and see what the commotion was. We managed to get the flaming shirts out the window, and after dousing everything and having a look, I reckon we were 5 seconds away from the whole bed going up. It was very poorly made of wood, cardboard and polyester. Gah...
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 12:36, 1 reply)

My bro.....
...is in the army and quite a nice guy most of the time. Except for one thing-he's a ginger bastard! No really, he is! Looks a bit like mum but nothing like dad. We had a bit of a rough time growing up as mum died in a car accident, but he seems to have developed his own way of dealing with it. He's never happier than when the psycopathic little inbred is blowing stuff up in Afghanistan, or when he's at home dressing up as an SS commander to go out partying!



Fortunately I got the family ears.
(GlennQuagmire, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 10:23, 3 replies)

Kind Of Sibling (as in Fucking Mad Sister In Law)
My brother's wife. She's an absolute fucking nutter. And as big as a house. And sweats. A lot.

We've had a few years of nutter shit, nasty texts to various family members, snide (although not particularly sophisticated) remarks at family do's, etc. Then, the piece of resistance...

She's signed my mother up to Facebook, added her as a friend, then posted mad, abusive shit about my mother. She's even posted stuff under my brother's name.

Fat Sweaty Mole.
(Pleiades, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 8:54, 4 replies)

damned if you do..
My brother and I had our share of toss ups from chasing eachother with knifes as children to putting eachother in the hospital as adults.

Its cool now between us but I remember when you used to pin me down on the ground punch me. when I screamed for help he would spit in my mouth.. then when I pierced my mouth shut he would punch my over. it was a wicked cycle that let me learn to take a punch.
(commodified =*, Sun 4 Jan 2009, 8:51, 1 reply)

I
Gots a little brother 6 years younger then me.
(Leoninus "Never lick a fresh turd on a hot day.", Sun 4 Jan 2009, 2:18, 4 replies)

Just a little one. (Warning, may not actually be little)
As some of you may know, I have a rather distasteful younger brother. But, we have done some damage to each other (but mostly he to himself)

When he was a very little Maccybro (1 year old for Christs sake) and my mother was giving birth to my youngest sister (home birth) he managed to somehow crack his head open on the concrete steps in my garden. This now leaves my dad in a dilemma, he has to leave his partner giving birth to take 3 children, one of them screaming and bleeding from a head wound to the nearest hospital.

When we arrived (lucky for us there's a hospital just round the corner) there was a huge line, mostly old people who'd been suffering from heat or something (This is August) and this yet again presents my dad with a further problem, so using his awesome people skills he speaks up "Hello everyone, a lot of you probably won't appreciate this, but, my wife is giving birth right now, and my youngest son has done this, can I please cut in line?" and much kudos to the English people, he was allowed. Brother was seen, and sent to Ashford to get his head glued back together (The first of many times).

Fast forward a few years to the time I'm about 9, he's 6. I'd recently gotten into watching WWF (as young boys do) and neglected the warnings. Myself and brother made our own Wrestling Federation, which came to an end when I suplexed him into my bed and broke his nose.

He's also had a beer keg fall on his head and bled from his ears from another injury (Involving the previously mentioned concrete stairs and my youngest sister)

I also kicked my older-younger sister in the cunt because she pissed me off when I was 10 and she was 9, I thought it wouldn't hurt her as much.... boy was I wrong.

EDIT:
Maccybro has caused me much grievance as well, he pulled me out of bed while I was sleeping and sprained my arm, and recently threw his DS at my head hard enough for it to split in half, and fuck my ear quite well.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 22:30, Reply)

My boyfriend's brother
We get along extremely well, and I think he likes me a lot. He sees me as being good for his brother, I think. However, we do tend to take the piss out of each other a lot. I don't have any brothers, being from a family of three girls.

Over Christmas, I described him as being "like the brother I never wanted." It made both him and the rest of Mr. Armadillo's family laugh quite a lot.
(BlackArmadillo Avoided writing that article on, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 21:18, 1 reply)

Revenge
My older brother 18 months is a big gap when you are young was a complete bastard to me whenever he got the chance.
I was a good looking boy and he was a speccy shortarse so perhaps he was jealous.

We fought constantly and by age 6 or 7 I was well able for him but not above a bit of snivelling if it could get him in trouble.

One morning he was smacking me about the kitchen and when I told my mother she whacked him so hard that he fell down!

Straight on top of the little crate of milk bottles which had just been washed and were ready to go out on the doorstep.

He had to get about 10 stitches in his leg and a week off school, our mother seemed to get over the shock and guilt fairly quickly.

I still think he deserved it.

We started to get along much better when he moved out at 18.
( notsosecretagentman, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 20:38, Reply)

mine are pretty grate
it's just they rub me up, and down, the wrong way
( nightbuffalo needs more duct tape, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 20:11, 1 reply)

My half-bro
My brother's 11 years older than me, my dad's son from a previous marriage. We weren't raised together, since he was often at his mom's and then off to university. He was like a particularly cool cousin who visited regularly, until I grew up enough to speak in sentences. And then he was AWESOME.

He could drive me places! He could give me far-sighted advice about high school. He could commiserate with me about Dad, who is kind of a nut. We had a lot of fun together, and we still do.

One word of advice, though: Don't tell "your mom" jokes to your half-brother. Especially if you share a Dad. It can be awkward...
(tinyninja, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 15:59, Reply)

OK, this is tenuous,
but I'm an only child.... my best mate and I have always been like brothers, though, and his little boy calls me uncle, so you're getting this story whether you want it or not.

Sitting in his house last night, having a few hangover curing beers, my mate suddenly went into spasmodic fits of laughter when the advert for some childrens charity came on.... you might have seen it, it's got child like drawings in it and a young girl describing how she cares for her mother. Not the most hilarious subject ever, and as my mate isn't one for sick jokes, I wondered why he was laughing.

When he finally managed to breathe in again, he told me. His little boy goes to the local nursery, and had drawn a lovely picture of his family... there was a stick mummy, a stick brother and stick sister..... and then there was stick daddy. Stick daddy had a big round head, a stick body, two stick arms and two stick legs. Oh..... and an enormous erect stick penis. "That's daddy's tinkle" he giggled when asked by the teacher.

3 years old and he's already laughing at tadgers. He farted last night too, shouted "I FARTED!" and collapsed in giggles. Love him to bits :)
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 15:15, 4 replies)

Making physics fun
Mum has gone to hospital for a minor op, and so it was dad's task to take little annexed and his younger brother out to the playground.

Perhaps the little runt had annoyed me. Perhaps I was worried about my mum. Either way, the two of us were on the see-saw and when I got to the bottom I got off. With predictable results.

So we all went to see mum in hospital and my brother got a cast for his broken arm.
(annexed, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 11:59, 3 replies)

We love each other, really...don't we??
My big brother is 4 and a half years older than me (and about a foot taller, but I digress...)
When he was what he considered to be a cool teen, the best thing in the world ever was having his little sister tag along everywhere, right? That must be why he insisted in including me in all the fun stuff him and his mates used to do - like playing football. Naturally, there were never enough sweaters to use as goalposts, so what else could he use? Oh yeah...me.
His favourite trick ever though, was to rugby tackle me. At the top of the stairs.

Thanks bro! I can hold you partly responsible for me being puddled to fuck...All those bangs to the head must be taking their toll!

He is now 41, and a responsible (*snort*) married father of 5

(I can still put him on his ass though, thank you C&R training!)
( bentalls In my head, I am a ninja, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Me and my sister didn't get along.
I was a clean cut geek boy going to college and hoping to go to uni while she was busy living the chavs dream of underage drinking, pregnancy scares and drugs.

We had some fierce arguments and I was genuinely scared of her. I once even had one of those close to death nightmares with her in it because she stabbed me (in the dream) with a biro in the back of the neck! Random, but I still woke up with a cold sweat.

Eventually, she got rid of those mates, got a job and we get along much better now. Thank god!
(suicidalducky has too much time on his hands, Sat 3 Jan 2009, 4:31, Reply)

Never Mind the Bollocks
I have an older sister and although we're both older and wiser now (I'm 28 she's 34) we used to be the bane of each others' lives when we lived at mum and dads.

To be fair I wasn't exactly an angelic little brother, in fact most of the things she did to me were in retaliation to somthing horrid I had done to hear earlier on. The balance has to be restored, ying yang etc.

When I saw this QOTW I thought of some of the things I did to her, usually just petty little brother practical jokes etc but the one that sticks in my mind is the "Never Mind The Bollocks" incident.

When I was about 8 and my sister 14, she was entrusted by mum to create a mix tape of 50s and 60s hits for somebody. You know Buddy Holly, Shadows, Searchers, Elvis etc. My sister had gone round the house finding old tapes with these songs on and dutifully set about recording them onto one tape. (this was 1988 so a hi-fi with 2 tape decks was considered a luxury in them days)

Noticing my sister had left her room to go out for a while, I crept into her room to see what mischief I could get up to. I noticed that the hi fi was playing some god awful track (probably Peggy Sue or something) so I stopped the tape and replaced it with the first one I could find in her collection - which turned out to be Never Mind The Bollocks by the Sex Pistols. Pleased with my fiendish behaviour, I left her room and promptly forgot all about it.

Now fast forward to 2003. I am 23 years old, my sisters 29 and has just got married, finished Uni, had a child with another on the way etc. I was happily discussing days gone by with her when suddenly I remembered that incident about the mixtape and confessed my part.

"THAT WAS YOU?!?!?!?!?!??" She cried to my suprise!

Turned out that my sister had returned ti the house and finished the mix tape completely unawares of my involvement and had given it to my mum who had put it on in the car, and was happily enjoying her pap when suddenly Johnny Rotten screamed through the speaker - causing her to almost run a red light (or some other dangerous motiring incident) and had gone home and flayed my sister alive for the crime; despite her protests of innocence.

Sorry sis!
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Sat 3 Jan 2009, 3:49, Reply)

Yesterday was my Birthday
I received a cheque for £15 from my parents.

From my younger sister I received the Watchmen comic book and an actual police breathalyser (god knows how). From my older sister I got a year subscription for Private Eye and for Viz.

My siblings rock and my parents blow.

Yay!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 21:59, 4 replies)

Of inappropriate feelings and snoggings
A long time ago I met this hot chick; I was in an ill thought out costume of a certain well known evil regime which she was a bit skeptical of, and we had no idea we were related (we were both given up at birth).

Anyway after a seriously weird evening of antics she invited me back to hers and I was thinking yes i'm in here, next thing I know
I've been conscripted into some rebellion of hers (the 60s are over dear) and its off to a huge battle which I win for her (hey, im definately getting some booty now I figure)... but no, we end up moving to some frozen wasteland where I get half killed by some hairy local, only getting a sympathy snog for my trouble and then she wants to move again.

I figure at this point shes just a prick tease and leave her to it and go off to do the find my destiny thing and move on with my life. Come the end and at the end of it as some search your feelings exercise we go through my family tree and my instructor turns round and tells me shes my sister! I tried to play it cool but all I could think was 'I snogged my sister!' and then someone got wind of it all made a film and now everyone knows my shame *sob*... oh, and *pop*!
(shouldbworking, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 20:14, 5 replies)

lol last
lol
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 19:45, 8 replies)

We're SOOOO musical!
tinyurl.com/6w8knn

This is me (stripey pully) with my bro Mark (Viking helmet) on New Year's Eve.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 18:22, 6 replies)

The Boy
We call our brother 'The Boy', I don't know why, maybe because it's funny. He's somewhat of a genius.
For his work experience, aged 15, he worked in Derby, at a place where the signals for the *entire rail network* are controlled from. On his first day, we asked him what he'd done, expecting him to have made the tea etc., but no..
"I was operating the signals for Merseyrail" says The Boy.
They were so impressed that the next day they let him operate the signals around Peterborough.
So, very reassuringly, for one day in July 2006, a fifteen-year-old was in charge of the rail signals around Liverpool.
( Peapod Has returned to the fold on, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 17:30, 2 replies)

NEW QOTW!!!!!!!
are we not getting a new QOTW this week
(Nahla, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 16:25, 14 replies)

My brother and sister (semi-repost)
I came along 17 years after my brother and sister and so was too late for any problems that other people have had with their siblings. I didn't actually realise they were my siblings for several years.

The pair of them, however, did have the odd scuffle while they were growing up and later...

I already mentioned that as a child my brother took my sister to the toilet without using the kiddy-seat and almost flushed her away.

Later, as my brother was a bit of a weedy boy, my sister used to fight bigger boys on his behalf. He was two years older than her.

Much much later, when my brother's first grandchild was born, he asked to make use of our sister's sons' lego as they had outgrown it by then. The boys were in their early teens at that stage. Sis refused on the grounds that her eventual grandchildren might want to use the lego themselves. That led to my brother and sister not speaking for years with him thinking she was mean and her thinking he had a bloody cheek.

They are fine with each other now and they have each supported each other through many of life's troubles.

As far as the lego and the grandkids are concerned, my brother's grandchildren have grown up, my sister's grandchildren have arrived and I suspect the lego has long been thrown away.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Fri 2 Jan 2009, 16:00, Reply)