More painful than childbirth?
The now ex Mrs Anthropos and I went on a camping trip with some friends in France a couple of years ago, I had taken a polypin of beer (36pints) and some serious damage had been done to it on the first night.

Ex Mrs Anthropos was not the world's best sleeper and would often do the thing where you twitch just as you are falling asleep. You know the one where you just start to dream and fall of a cliff and jerk awake? Yep that thing....

Lying peacefully drunk on an airbed, bellyfull of beer, with my mates, my girlfriend falling asleep while I gazed drunkenly at her pretty face, what could be better?

WHUMP!

She has woken up, and with a swift, jerking motion buried her knee deep twixt my Davinas.

Pain.

Pain like I have never felt. Childbirth? Pah! I got up, stumbled around for a bit with my hand down my trousers checking I was still in two pieces.

Everyone hanging around outside at the campsite either laughed at me, or slunk back towards their tent at the sight of me lolloping around with all the grace and decorum of a blind puppy with no legs.

Then I stood barefoot on the still-glowing-red-hot embers of the campfire we had built. More pain. Watery blisters on the soles of my feet for a week.

It then dawned on Ex Mrs Anthropos quite what she had done. Rather than do the decent thing and apologise, the drinks consumed made the scene in front of her hilarious. This did nothing to improve my mood.

I slept with my back to her for the rest of the holiday.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 23:36, Reply)