I've recently been in hospital
and on Christmas day we had a new lady join our ward. I was in the toilet, and overheard this loud exchange:

Mad old lady: "Nurse! Nurse!"
Male nurse came over.
MOL: "I need to use the bathroom but I'm all hooked up to this thing here (indicating drip), can you take it off please?"
MN: "Right now somebody else is in the bathroom, and I am just treating the lady in the bed next to you. Is it very urgent?"
MOL: "Oh somebody is in the bathroom already?"
MN: "Yes. As soon as they come out, I will help you. We can't take the drip off, but it's on a trolley so it can come with us."
MOL: "Oh I can wait then. Can you give me my buzzer?"
MN: "Yes, here it is."
MOL: "Which button do I press for the nurse?"
MN: "That one. The really big one."
MOL presses buzzer. "Did it work?"
MN: "Yes." Resets buzzer. "Now I'll come back as soon as the bathroom is free."
A second later I hear the buzzer.
MN: "Are you ok?"
MOL: "Well, that was quick! I'd like to use the bathroom please."

At this point I left the loo to see my mum trying desperately hard not to laugh by my bedside. The male nurse had not even left the lady's bedside before she buzzed the second time!

A few days later she ordered a cup of tea from the nurses before the breakfast trolley arrived, and though they were in the middle of the drugs round they somehow found a spare body to make her one. It sat on her table for an hour, then she complained to the breakfast lady that the nurses had brought her a cold cup of tea and it was undrinkable!
(sanity challenged, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 10:27, Reply)