Rent-a-Ninja
'Twas the dead of night in a large creaky farmhouse, somewhere in the depths of middle Earth or Wales as it's now called.

My friends and I had driven from Essex that morning, and after a hearty meal, we'd all collapsed with our partners into our respective rooms, dotted around the corridors of the uneven upstairs floor.

I awoke with the urge to piss for England. With the usual boner mother nature supplies in these circumstances, both to prevent you from letting go when you're asleep and also when you're awake in front of the crapper.

Using all my Ninja skills, I quietly got out of bed, not waking my girlfriend, and crept towards the door, feeling my way as I went. Every footstep was accompanied with a load groan or squeak from the misshapen floorboards.

Once out of the bedroom, I faintly remembered the way to the bathroom, down a long corridor. I had to walk either on the extreme edges, or on the skirting board, bracing myself against the opposite wall, in order to be as silent as possible.

I knew I was getting close, as I could faintly see the bathroom door ahead. Encouraged by the sight of my goal, I pressed on...

One thing I hadn't thought of though, was exactly where all the other doors were. With only 2 steps to go, feet braced on one wall, I moved my hands for a final push and fell through the unlocked door of my friends room, performing an almost perfect roll-and-stand manoeuvre.

Their bedside light was on.
They were having "Special cuddles"
I'd burst in completely without warning, standing in my trollies, sporting a rather magnificent semi.

No-one laughed. It wasn't exactly Harold Lloyd slapstick.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 14:39, 1 reply)

If it were me:
"BOY, how to explain this one..."

*spin move*
(jessemoya, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 20:56, closed)