Leaving the room
I'm a gifted flatulist, my poor partner suffers on a daily basis from the stench I can create after most types of food. Luckily she wasn't around for the "gassing of the 4 rooms" as it's become known... by me.

Whilst living in Lancaster and after a particularly tasty kebab, I developed the usual kebab farts, although these were worse than ever. I sat watching television in the living room/kitchen of my flat and let out a couple of farts, before long the heady smell was too much for me and I had no choice but to leave the room. I shut the door tightly behind me and went into the bedroom to read a book. A matter of minutes later I had stunk that room out too, so shut another door behind me and sat in the hallway to read. The same problem soon arose as the smell emanating from my arse showed no signs of stopping, so I went into the bathroom, not to defecate but just to sit on the closed toilet while I continued reading.

Alas in the space of about 25 minutes I'd made such an awful smell in all 4 of the distinct rooms in my poxy little flat that I had nowhere to go. I opened the door to the living room/kitchen and it was still there, fresh as before. I picked up my keys and headed out of the house for a walk, my head hung in shame.

An hour later when I returned I realised I should probably have taken the time to open a window or two before I left. The transition from fresh air to stale farts was far worse than the initial shock of the smell.

Nowadays I've discovered febreze, if I could retro-fit a canister to my arse I would.
( JebediahSpringfield, Wed 22 Jan 2014, 14:37, Reply)