Uncle Ian
Affectionately known as "the wrinkled walnut" or the "dried prune" Uncle Ian was an old fogey that presumeably took up smoking sometime around world war 2 and never stopped.

Once he became a pensioner and had to watch the pennies a bit he was faced with the choice of fags or worldly goods. Thus he drove a crappy beige Metro but kept smoking.

This embarrissment to the British motor industry was the victim of many a joke by me as it should have been.

Eventually time took its course and the fags led to disease and the hospital decided Ians left leg had to come off at the knee.

I found out about this a month or so after the Op and he was on the road to recovery. An abridged version of the conversation went like this:

"You know Uncle Ian had to have his leg amputated?"
"No, which one?"
"Left one I think"
.....
"Guess that means he can't drive that crap old Metro anymore then!"

Look of disgust from my mother.

Then dad pipes up "Think he traded it in for an automatic".
"What'd he get?"
"A Rover 25"
"At least it's not beige".


So there you have it. Smoking fucks you up AND you end up with shite cars.
20 a day? That'll be a Daewoo.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:11, Reply)