Odd ways of picking up the habit
I occasionally run a therapy group in my home.

I am in no way a trained therapist, my only experience of it being on the receiving end of a multitude of patronizing question and answer sessions. I do, however, own a lighter, various bottles of vodka, a large bowl, and an unhealthy interest in burning things.

Thus my Let's Burn Stuff Therapy was born - a friends-only service, but I do take it very seriously. I talk to the Service User (as they like to be called these days), I have them explain their motivations for coming to me in all possible detail (even if I know it already), throw in some amatuer Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, take reems of notes, and provide follow-up sessions within 6-weeks. Objects with strong emotional attachment are then placed in a bowl (these must, if possible, include a photo of the offending party), various funeral-esque things are read-out (they must come prepared with a pre-burning statement of intent) and the detritus is set alight amongst great ceremony (candles, incense, music, have yet to try chanting). No hints of forgiveness are allowed until after the last embres have died - just let the fucker burn.

It sometimes takes an hour or more to burn the offending items, so it's a two-bird-one-stone with the money saved on heating bills.

...

And the smoking? After a few lungfulls of burning memories, you're hooked. Cigarettes are there to tide me over until the next Therapy Session.

=)

Not to mention it's like burning minatures of my ex (she was stick-thin, pasty-white, and orangey on top).

Ah, sweet, burny revenge.

Length? When you're ginger, any length is too long. Just shave it all off. Man or woman.
( Matoosh would rather like a biscuit, Mon 24 Mar 2008, 19:48, Reply)