I want a Cadbury's egg.
I've just been watching the Egg-Masacre... wonderfullness... but it's left me feeling un-egged.

I spent all of Easter in bed with the flu, and missed it.

Plus.. Cadbury's chocolate isn't on sale here.

If anyone fancies posting a Cream egg to me, my address is available from facebook =)
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 13:19, 14 replies)

mmm
just had one meself, dipped in black coffee and then the softened top sucked off, until the creamy goodness inside is finally freed. Want another one now.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 13:43, closed)

^ softened top sucked off, until the creamy goodness inside is finally freed
I need a cold shower after reading that...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 13:46, closed)

Not sure
that I fancy dipping the end in black coffee though!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 13:48, closed)

Trust me
the rich aroma of coffee beans just adds to sublime pleasure that I get from delicately tonguing out the inside of the creme egg, excavating every little crevice until I've totally exhausted the supply of goo.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:01, closed)

Oh God...
I've just gone off.

Good job I'm wearing a cream suit...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:04, closed)

erm.. it was a mate...
... honest...

Who convinced his missus that a creme egg was a "love egg" and invaded her mimsy with it just before watching a movie... suggesting she bake it a while to get warmed up for "after-movie shenanigans"

Freaked her out a little when she finally melted it and set the goop free...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:14, closed)

Yeah, right...
We've read some of your posts, Mr Humpty, and we* don't believe you...





* I may not speak for all of us when I make that comment, I'm just really bored and want this QOTW to change, pretty please...?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:18, closed)

I'm still engrossed
by BobFossil's story of tonguing the goo out!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:22, closed)

Yeah...
... it was the "tounging the goo out" line that made me recall that little egg thing that ... erm ... that my friend did.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:25, closed)

Next QOTW
Cadbury's Creme Eggs - how do you fuck yours...?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:28, closed)

First, catch your egg
Slowly unwrap the foil from around the egg, taking care not to rip anything in your haste to get the smooth brown surface naked.

Then, holding the egg with care 'twixt thumb and index finger, dip it carefully into a mug of freshly brewed, steaming black coffee. Even now, just as we're getting started, the intermingling scents of chocolate and coffee should be making your mouth moisten in anticipation.

Gingerly raise the now-dripping curve of the egg to your mouth, using the tip of your tongue to wipe away any excess drops of hot, rich fluid. The surface should be warm and sticky, and soft enough to sweep a slick of chocolate away using your pursed lips. Repeat this once, maybe two more times, and suddenly you will experience the breakthrough. The resistance of the chocolate will crumble, and your lips might momentarily plunge though into the cooler depths of the sugary yolk. Do not give in to temptation though: content yourself with nibbling softly around the edges of the broken chocolate, until a hole has been formed that is sizeable enough for you to slip your tongue through.


...shall I continue...?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:36, closed)

You might as well...
we could be in for a long afternoon...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:38, closed)

Gently,
increase the pressure with your tongue, until it slides into the creamy cavity as far as it can possibly go, and then languidly withdraw it, covered with the sweet essence of this most beautiful of foods. Quickly, plunge yourself in again; the hole will be widening each time you do this, as its resistance melts under the full force of your oral probing. You will be able to increase the depth and angle of your flickering proboscis, enabling you to reach every last drop of the white goo contained within this delicate brown shell. Let your head roll back in ecstasy as each velvety drop slides down the back of your through, coating your gullet in a buttery residue, the sensation of which will remain with you for a long time.

To reach those last few precious squirts of liquid divinity, nibble once again at the chocolate it is cupped in, until the final trace of sweet liquor yields itself to you, like a wave of sublime joy upon your lips.

As you gasp, sated, only the final vestiges of this wondrous union will be left as evidence. A few folorn, empty shards of shell, softened through the oral orgy upon your tastebuds that ripped through your life. Place them delicately upon your tongue, savouring as the final sweet grains melt in the warm damp cavity of your mouth, and are swept back into your throat, leaving a lingering taste of heaven.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:52, closed)

Where's chickenlady?
I need her RIGHT now....

If she isn't reading this thread there will be trouble at t'mill.

Not like her to have missed this!?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:52, closed)