My First Time
I had a week's holiday in Prague and ended up - as is probably common - in a 'gentleman's club'. It was populated by beautiful young women clad in revealing lingerie and an older woman who asked me to pick one of them.

So I selected a beautiful, busty blonde and she escorted me through a door. She told me to have a shower first, which I did, even though I'd already had one directly before leaving my hotel.

I went into the room and she was waiting there - now completely naked. Kissing me all the while, she got me to lay down on the bed and then really started to get down to business.

It's my first time and I'm feeling really nervous. I try some small talk (I genuinely said 'Nice weather today') and she says just to relax. Then she puts on a nearby radio and says to just listen to the music.

At first, I'm pleased. It's a Norah Jones song and I like Norah Jones.

Then Norah starts to sing: "I don't know why I didn't come, yeah, I don't know why I didn't come."

Norah Jones keep singing and it makes me feel more and more anxious.

And, to be perfectly honest, I don't know why I didn't come either.

Length? Let's just say all the young ladies were having a good laugh as I left.
(Ted Cunn, Tue 2 Feb 2010, 11:13, Reply)