Might be too little too late
but... what worked with mine is not "hearing" or "seeing" them when they pitched a fit. Daughter never threw a full blown tantrum, but when son did, I looked around and said, "Where on earth is that weird noise coming from?" and left.

They learned I responded to a strong, non-whiny request and that when I said "no" I never changed my mind. I literally would not talk or acknowledge them if they were that unpleasant.
OTOH, I do allow them to make a case for their wishes and have given them huge treats and privileges after they have made a reasoned presentation of "Why I deserve to fill the back yard with water and make an ice skating pond" or whatever.

So-that may work, or it may be too late. I do agree with the person who said Carol will side with her daughter. As a mom, I would too, probably even if I knew I was in the wrong. If you can make peace with Chloe and learn to like her, great: smooth sailing. If you can't, I am very sad to say she will probably always be a source of fights and heartache between you and Carol, even after she grows up and leaves the house.

Is there a way to enlist the 15 year old sister in taming the teeny tiny shrew?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 7:08, 1 reply)

Good on you
That is a recognised method recommended by Clinical Psychologists - known as 'Planned Ignoring' - based on the principle of rewarding good behaviour, and withholding rewards for bad behaviour, and the most powerful reward for a child is agreed to be ... attention.
(cherrynicola, Sat 11 Oct 2008, 19:34, closed)

Really?
I call it "Benign Neglect".


edit: Thanks.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sun 12 Oct 2008, 5:11, closed)