sports day
ah, sports day. the day when pushy parents scream their children to victory, so that they can live vicariously though their children's achievemets.
can you tell i didn't like sports day?
there was a very good reason for me not liking sports day: i'm shit at sports. a shocker, i know. the only sport i was ever good at was rounders and that wasn't included in the day's activities.
this tale involves both disaster and triumph, along with a large amount of giggling.
8 years old, first year juniors, last week of summer term. sports day. after failing dismally in all my usual events, i had second place in the egg and spoon race cruelly snatched from my grasp by the girl in third place(stupid pamela!) falling over and taking me down with her, inches from the finish line.
i was gutted. the closest i'd ever come to a silverish medal in my life, only to fall short. bitterly, i vowed to myself that i'd win something that day, and so, i took myself along to see what other races i could enter into. fortunately, there was still one race left. the sack race. oh, yes, the fat kid was definitely going to win that one, wasn't she? fuck it, i was going to try.
standing on the starting line, the edge of my itchy sack(quiet at the back, please) grasped in my hands, i waited for the whistle to blow.
as soon as it did, the fitter kids were off like bouncy, hessian-clad rockets. i began to hop after them, but something happened; i started to jiggle. i started to giggle. once i'd started, i couldn't stop. there i was, about 3 feet away from the starting line, howling with laughter and going nowhere fast.
it wasn't long before people staarted to notice me. soon, they were laughing, too. the more they laughed, the more i laughed. i was still determined to finish the race, but each hop led to a fresh bout of giggling and jiggling. after about 15 minutes, i was finally coming up to the finish line. my teacher ran onto the track to help me, which resulted in us both falling into a heap on the track, breathless with laughter. it was the funniest sports day i'd ever been to.
the best thing was, i did win something that day. i won a sportsmanship award for being a good sport and carrying on to the end of that race, no matter what.
i still hate sports day, though.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 14:22, 2 replies)

Giggle
So you always giggle in the sack eh? ;-)
(Brugesbear, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 16:44, closed)

depends who i'm in there with
but sock puppets are a definite no-no
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:11, closed)