insert pun about balls, wickets, and so on here.
when much younger, i went to a posh private school. on a scholarship.
to fill in the subtext to this, i was, as you might say, a pov. i lived on a small farm in a mobile home, and my folks were BROKE.
This rankled with some of the more well-off kids, in no small amount due to the fact that i was a smart kid with a smart mouth, surrounded by people whose continued presence in the classes was more to do with their parent's bulging wallets than their ability to reliably be left alone with anything sharper than a plastic spoon, or tie their own laces without risk of strangulation.
during one particularly heated game of cricket, something i was MASSIVELY apathetic about, to my team's great dismay, i was being a rather lackadaisical batstop, and, for my sins, received a hearty yet furtive wallop in the spuds with a cricket bat. eye-watering, rolling around with no air in lungs, praying for death to take me, you fellow testicle-bearers out there know the drill.

however the next day the pain was still pretty intense. enough to make moving, walking, thinking, breathing etc vomit-inducingly painful. eventually, i was taken to the doctors, who immediately looked concerned, rang me an ambulance, and without further ado, off i went to the hospital.
turns out my right'un had done a backflip and tied his little life support line in a knot. one way blood traffic. imminent death of nut.
the worst bit wasn't the pain. it wasn't the surgery. it wasn't even the hospital food.

it was waking up bewildered and needing a piss, trying to sit up, and realising VERY FUCKING SUDDENLY that they've been bleeding during the night and your dressing is FIRMLY attached to the sheet and your junk, and you've just torn some stitches.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)