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This is a question Sporting Woe

In which we ask a bunch of pasty-faced shut-ins about their exploits on the sports field. How bad was it for you?

Thanks to scarpe for the suggestion.

(, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 13:40)
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Unihoc and the champion team of misfits
It was the last few weeks of year 11, so many of the assembled teenagers would never need to take PE lessons again. As such, the PE teachers decided we could do something fairly lighthearted, and organised a unihoc tournament.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game, it's a version of indoor hockey, played with a plastic puck and flimsy plastic sticks.

For those of you unfamiliar with me, I'm a big chap - quite capable at badminton and strength related sports such as shotput, etc - but as slow and lumbering as a depressed tortoise in winter.

Several team captains were chosen, and teams were picked. The misfits; and I count myself amongst this posse of the lazy, feeble, slow and fat, decided to form a team of our own. This was partly for laughs, and partly because we knew we would all be picked last anyway. At least this way, we were together as a band of equally poor performers, rather than spread out as the dead weight in the other teams.

We then decided on our main tactic: Refuse to take the game seriously.

To this end we roared when we ran, passed to the other team, stood by and bowed to let some goals in, and were generally quite silly.

So the tournament started, and we set about enjoying ourselves. Then something odd happened. Whether it was our unusual demeanour, or the soft bigotry of low expectations, we seemed to take other teams by surprise, and we started to win.

Round after round, we managed to score more than our opponents, even against the teams of vicious girls (we had mixed classes for this final term) and the sporty types who had the teachers on their side, and could therefore foul as much as they like.

Somehow, we won the tournament.

I like to think that we amazed the PE teachers so much that they looked upon the indifferent, asthmatic, scrawny and weak in a different way in future - realising that they need only inspire us in the right way, and we could go on to greatness.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 12:32, 2 replies)
did you actually go on to create the Harlem Globetrotters?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 13:25, closed)
...I eschewed my new found indoor hockey skills, and went on to live a sedentary life, secure in the knowledge that I would never again win a sporting tournament.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2012, 17:46, closed)

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