50 yard dash Mon vs Squirrel
(Wavey lines take us back to erm….Yesterday lunchtime)

An unusually clear day means that Mon is heading out for his usual lunchtime walk near the local duckpond to get a little fresh air and see if the local custard cream addicted ducks are still alive (See Bullies QOTW). On my way to the place I pass through a narrow alley around 50 – 75 yards long with an area to the left fenced off to act as some form of overflow for the place/ to keep the local oiks out of the wooded bit that backs onto people’s houses.

As I started walking down I noticed a grey squirrel on top of the fence next to me scampering along. “Ooh bet he’s thinking I’m going to chase him or something, I’d better stop” thinks I and so I stop still. Grey squirrel also stops. I decide to back off a little…so does my new grey friend. “So it’s a race you want is it then my friend?” I say aloud to the tree rat and I’m not too sure if it was due to the high quantity of Haribo I’d been eating earlier that day but he seemed to give me the look that says come on then. I start off with a decent jog and Fenrir my squirrel sidekick (named as he had a grey back and I’m re-reading the HP books to my second kid at the moment) seemed to match my pace. I wasn’t having this furry little sod beating me to the end and upped my tempo….so did he….grr that’s it! I let out a burst of speed and fenrir…….stopped. "Ha ha time to turn round and laugh in his furry face" was what was going through my mind…sadly that isn’t what happened.

Mid turn I managed to put my right foot in a patch of mud and as I was wearing a pair of shoes that had zero grip I ended up doing some form of mad wobbling attempt to keep myself balanced before eventually falling flat on my ass.

While doing the usual pick myself up and check to see that no one had seen me fall over I looked back to see Fenrir. After a short look at me he seemed to shrug his shoulders, turn away and run back to the beginning of the alley and stay there, waiting for someone else to turn up and fall for his trick. I swear he must have planned it all along and may have already done this to someone else (Maybe I was hoping that there has been more people than me outwitted by a squirrel)

If there wasn’t a risk of getting bitten and some disease I swear I would have punched the little sod clean off the fencepost. Thank god it’s raining today.

Tl:dr Man races squirrel, falls over
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:01, 4 replies)

Excellent!
Have a click.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:46, closed)

Thanks!

(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 12:57, closed)

if you catch one of those little fuckers over here
you can't let it go. by law, you're supposed to kill it.
or so i've heard.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 25 Apr 2012, 16:22, closed)

Soo...
...are the ducks still alive?
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Thu 26 Apr 2012, 11:44, closed)