Molten metal
It was announced that to save time, the school middle distance running reps for the local champs would be open to whoever volunteered. "Sweet," thinks 14 year old I, "a day off school, and all I have to do is run 800m!"

Thus I found myself on a proper athletics track in front of a huge audience of school children about to run against proper athletes. I was only slightly behind after the first half lap. Just keep somewhere close, I told myself. Then the burn started setting in. It felt like I was inhaling molten metal, only it was scorchingly cold. I was going to die. I looked up; only half a lap to go. But ... everyone else had already finished. Beaten by half a lap, in a two lap race. I somehow managed to push through to the end, but the officials didn't even bother recording my time. I think they thought I was just warming up for the next race, because how could anyone be so far behind?

I slunk back into the stands and spent the rest of the day fighting for breath like a 90 year old asthmatic chain smoker. I should've gone to school that day. The triathlons were a different story. I'd be on a team with a crappy swimmer and a crappy cyclist. I'd get the day off school to lounge about on the beach while they took an age to complete their legs, then I'd casually jog the 5km course with no pressure on as we were already way behind.
(tboss, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 4:52, Reply)