Cross country
We had our cross country at a place near Bearsden called Mugdoch Country Park, which I'm convinced is a Spoonerism. Anyhoo, the place consisted, as is required by law for all Children's cross country events: a muddy path full of sharp rocks and 4 inch deep puddles; a massively steep random incline with slippy path; a section of narrow path surrounded by dead trees with long, whippy branches, and a small section of hidden dips, peaks and troughs which you couldn't stop yourself on because you'd built up so much speed at the top.

One particuarly demoralising year, about ten seconds after the starters line I was either tripped up or caught someone's shoe, never found out which, and landed in a small pile of rabbit crap; got a stitch running up the unfeasably steep hill only to see two girls who'd turned off about 5 minutes previously to go up their track (shorter than the boys one) and had managed to get to the top at the same time as me by walking; cut my arms and legs on the narrow section, and then finished the first lap after about 14 minutes and 56 seconds. Two of my friends finished 5 seconds later and were told that their race was over, because they'd taken longer than 15 minutes, and they could go to wait on the bus, in the warm, while I stumbled on alone for another 20 minutes or so. I came 21st in my year eventually, in the knowledge that, had I competed the first lap 5 seconds slower, I could have been sitting on the bus eating, drinking, and reading FHM like everyone else who was sensible enough to be slow.

Length? It was fucking tiny after that.
(thePontificator, Fri 31 Mar 2006, 15:17, Reply)