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This is a question School Sports Day

At some point in the distant past, someone at my school had built a large concrete tank behind the sheds and called it a swimming pool. Proud of this, they had a "Swimming Sports Day" in which everyone had to participate, even those who couldn't swim (they got to walk across the shallow end of the tank).

This would probably have been OK if the pool hadn't turned a deep opaque green the night before due to lack of maintainance. Even the school sports stars didn't want to go near the gloopy mess in the pool. We were practically pushed in. I'm sure some of the younger kids never surfaced again and the non-swimmers looked petrified.

Tell us your sports day horrors.

(, Thu 30 Mar 2006, 11:13)
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blinded by the fright
At our schoool swimming gala it was traditional for the teachers to have a race to show us how cool and sporty they were.

After we had gotten over the shock of seeing our extremely gay music teacher walking around in flowered speedos with the thickest and fluffiest back hair known to man (he was a small bald man with a passion for bassoons), the fact that our history teacher had a tattoo and the delight of our gym teacher's muscly loveliness, the race began.

It was neck-and neck for a while, but predictably the lovely gym teacher won, followed by the less ancient memebers of staff... the rear was brought up by our principal, a hideous old bag in the style of Camilla Parker-B.. Although nobody had paid much attention to her before, as she reached the pool side last everyone was rejoicing and chuckling and thus all 400+ eyes were on her as she dragged her shrunken frame out of the pool on spindly shoppingbag arms, and all eyes were still on her as the front of her swimming costume sagged down and her old-crone breasts popped right out onto the tiles.

It went a bit quiet after that, the silence punctuated only by all the teenage boys (and the gay music teacher) vomiting into the bushes.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2006, 11:55, Reply)

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