Hockey for fucks sake.
Hockey, the only field sport for which the blood crazed neanderthals we had for Teachers in this area would allow me to keep my glasses on.

The only sport in which I could actualy distinguish friend from foe and have a rough clue as to which direction I should be be facing. The only sport in which you get to carry a hitting stick as part of the game*

I enjoyed hockey, I enjoyed the running about, the bloodcurdling yells and the cries of "Fuck! leg it lads!" from the opposing team as I bore down on their now unprotected goal.

So picture the scene. Yours truely, howling like a crazed timber wolf, hair streaming out behind me** and a rapidly parting sea of blue shirts infront as I anticipate another excellent scoring moment to add to my otherwise pitiful memories of school sport.

What follows is an odd tumbling sensation and a groggy awakening to a sea of faces looking down on me around a circle of blue, blue sky.
"Right, game's over for you Duke E. get yer kit on and go home" says the hulking form of the games master.
"Ok" says I, not thinking too clearly and feeling distinctly odd.
Get kit on, shamble slowly home pausing only to throw up a couple of times and fall over once or twice. Mother takes one look at the state of me and calls 999.

Docs diagnose concussion, followed swiftly by Cracked Skull^TM. Spent a slightly dubious time in hospital having lights shone in my eyes every 20 minutes or so by nurses and wondering why I wasn't allowed to stand up.
An eventual return to school to find us one games master down and his name stricken from the register.

Turns out that one of the other players, seeing me in my usual berserker run for goal had run up behind me, raised his stick and cracked me full force across the side of the head.

When questioned as to why he'd done this, the reply "dunno sir, just sorta felt like it" was taken to be justification enough...


*Cricket doesn't count, too much standing still, not enough screaming.
**Good good, look at you man, you look like a hippy, worse, you look like an art student! You're a disgrace to the school Duke E. What are you ? A disgrace to the school sir...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Tue 4 Apr 2006, 13:46, Reply)