The most mentalist girl in the world.
I used to be a member of a drama club, and one summer, directed the youth production. I was out trawling through local charity shops for bits of costume, and noticed the hot girl at the till. (take my advice, NEVER date anyone who works at Banardos) We chatted for at least an hour, exchanged numbers, and said goodbye. The next day I was at work (at the time I was in a small DIY shop) and she came in and started the conversation again. Alarm bells should have been ringing coz I never told her where I worked, but she was pretty, so I didn't notice how creepy that was.
This was mid-december so we decided to go Xmas shopping together, grab lunch, make a day of it. All went well, kissed on the way home, very romantic.
Over the next couple of months, we had a great time. Then shortly after Valentines, she dumped me. I was upset, but tried to move on.

About 6 months later she appeared outside my school. Thing is, on that day I finished at 2pm, so to be there, she either found out my timetable, or showed up willing to wait all day.
Again this didn't strike me as weird, and she came back to mine for a cuppa. She announced she was engaged, showed me the ring, then pounced. I am not gonna say I didn't enjoy it, but if I hadn't, it would have been rape, coz I had no choice in the matter.
Fast-forward a few weeks, she calls me up saying she left her fiancee and is now lesbian.

She now has a 2yr old with a 40 yr old guy who thinks he is Neo from Matrix, and used to come into the video store where I worked to ask if I could babysit. I think Neo dumped her the day she got her tits out and yelled 'these could still be yours again!'
(bobman500 enjoys a grope as much as the next fella, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 6:58, 1 reply)

that is
Brilliant.
(jennymnemonic, Wed 6 Feb 2008, 13:24, closed)