I really hope it was cathartic to put all of that down...
Love, whether requited or otherwise, f*cks us all up in some way at some time in our lives. I don't think you need to feel guilty any more. Reading that - it didn't seem as if Betty was in a relationship for any of the four years you worked in the same office, or if so you've left that bit out. If it was the case that she was single all that time, possibly she had / has issues herself.
Compared to most tales on here, you didn't act in a "bad" way given your age and certainly should, if you've moved on as a person, forgive yourself. Not forgiving yourself about what happened - which was really very, very little in the grand scheme of things - is possibly a way of holding onto "something" with Betty; it's the only emotion you have left concerning her. Let it go, forgive yourself, don't see her as perfect, and move on. Unless you enjoy being tormented, in which case...
Sorry to get all armchair psychologist - what do I know ? Great post though.
( I_Was_Mordred, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 16:51, Reply)