Also on a bus...
Picture the scene:
Leeds, 1992, 4pm(ish) on a miserable Autumn weekday afternoon.
I was going the 4 or so miles down Woodhouse Lane from the main studentville area known as Headingly, to the city centre.

As it was just after school kicking-out time, along the route jumped on three local schoolkids. I saw them as they passed me to sit at the back of the bus; all lads aged about 14 or 15, as denoted by their school blazers, awful Leeds accents, and facial bumfluff.
The bus pulled away, and they continued the conversation they had obviously started before getting on the bus.

It became apparent from unavoidably overhearing their conversation that lad A, B, and C had obviously just started the new school year and hadn't seen much of each other during the Summer holidays.

Then their conversation turned to the absence from school of one of their schoolfriends.
A: "Where's Dave?" says one.
B: "I dunno, I've not seen him for a bit"
A: "Strange, he's usually around like a bad smell"
C sniggers
C: "He's keeping a low profile at the minute"
A: "Huh"
B: "Why's that, then?"
C: "You know he lives on a farm out by [forgotten]"
B: "Yeah"
C: "Well I went 'round his place looking for him a few weeks back"
A: "And?"
C: "Well, it were evening, his folk's car was gone. His house were in darkness, but there were a light from't one of't animal sheds out back."
A: "So?"
C falls into fits of giggles, struggles to compose himself, then continues.
C: "So I went to look...
C: "I found Dave in the shed shagging a pig"
B: "What? A munter?
C: "No, a pig! A proper pig!"
A: "No way! I always thought he was a dirty bastard..."
B: "Just wait 'till I tell his mates. He's had it"
All 3 in uncontrollable laughter..

I don't remember the rest of it, as I was at this point busily trying to pretend I couldn't hear them, silently pissing myself with laughter along with most of the rest of the bus.
I REALLY wanted to look 'round , I just couldn't as I would have given the game away.
Brightened up my week it did.

Unapologetic for length
(Felchman, Thu 10 Jun 2004, 1:01, Reply)