I work in court at the Old Bailey
A few months ago one of our ushers was about to bring a judge into the courtroom but had misplaced his door knocker. It was to his detriment that he decided to use the ill-advised substitute of a packet of Polos, which promptly exploded and showered down around them both like painful minty confetti.

Another time he accidentally fell asleep during a fairly tedious hearing. Upon waking he mistook a pause in breath for the end of the day and in his loudest and jolliest voice stood up and announced 'COURT RISE!' right in the middle of the judge's ruling.
( The Helpful Bear, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 22:57, 5 replies)

I used to be a Magistrates' Courts usher
What a laugh that job was. Most of the staff were frankly barking.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 23:06, closed)

The staff seem comparatively normal!
Last week my clerk said to me 'Just so you're not alarmed, the defendant may growl and chuckle in the dock.' A wonderful place to work :)
( The Helpful Bear, Thu 3 Mar 2011, 23:13, closed)

Oh yes, the defendants certainly liven the place up!
Especially the Touretters.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:47, closed)

i laughed
and i clicked
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 14:03, closed)

Means a lot
coming from someone whose stories I find so amusing! The Pure Ignorance question from 2005(?) is what prompted me to join b3ta in the first place - cheers.
( The Helpful Bear, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 8:39, closed)