Noshers Cortina
Nosher lost his front teeth on a previous job delivering beds, he had to catch the bed as the other guy rocked it off the truck, but instead he had given a pretty girl a Phroar, and turned back just in time to catch a double divan with his face.
But this isn't about that, it's about his Cortina.
He turned up one day with a car stereo and speakers, and set about fitting them into his car at lunchtime, using kettle flex for wire and a Stanley knife to mutilate the doors.
Except he placed the speakers in such a way as he could no longer open the front windows, he had to take the screw out the window winder so he could wind a little, remove it, replace it, wind a little...
"I weren't finking" he said in his defence.
Some time later, I had an accident at work and had to be taken to hospital by Nosher. On the way back, to my absolute horror, he came off the road, mounted the pavement and at the last second swerved to narrowly avoid hitting the policeman he was driving towards. The policeman bent down and, fully expecting to be nicked by proxy, I wound down the window (we weren't in the Cortina).
Nosher leant over with a big grin and said "orright dad!"

And indeed it was his dad. At least, he didn't deny it.
I would have.
(Stopitnowplease, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 9:27, 1 reply)

I did that
to my Fiesta. Cut a fuck off hole in the door card, fitted the speaker, wired it up, put it all back together.

First time I tried to open the window, it went down 2 inches and stopped with a nasty 'thunk'.

Bugger . . .
( Not Pineapple anymore, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 14:53, closed)