I'm a pretty open minded individual
and like to think (after many stumbles over life's ignorance-traps) that I've developed into a rational, reasonable person.

My local pub is filled with an assortment of characters that generally have me crying with laughter, but sometimes I just want to bang my head on the table, or smash a glass and slice off my ears so I don't have to listen to what's being discussed at that moment.

Previous gems have included:

Stopping "the war" by killing "them" and burying "them" covered in gammon (they, apparently, are everywhere too).

How "poofters" shouldn't "be allowed". Quite what they shouldn't be allowed to do, or whether it is their very right to existence that has been called into question is never quite clear.

Various sectarian gems and rangers-celtic based conspiracy theories that make the grassy knoll and the magic bullet theory seem plausible.

The most recent was a discussion on Lady Gaga, self proclaimed pop royalty and erstwhile sausage-smuggler, apparently.

"I'd give that a burl! Phwoar!"
"She's got a cock, but."
"What?"
"A cock, Aye."
"What.... she's a man? Fuck off!"
"Naw, she's no a man, she's no a woman either. She's a, what is it again, a her-mee-fra-dite. She's got baws and a fanny."
"What, a great big cock?"
"Naw, they've only got wee tiny ones, her-mee-fra-dites."
"Fuck, I must be one as well then!"

At that point I nearly choked on my pint. Sometimes ignorance can be genuinely hilarious :D
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 18 Mar 2010, 18:06, 1 reply)

I love this!! It made me laugh out loud! Clickety click!!
( curvylittlegoth heard the voices in your head on, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 19:35, closed)