The future Mrs Draconacticus
Always makes me laugh... albeit usually not with her but somewhere near her. She isn't stupid, she has far too many qualifications for that, I'd say that instead she out-sources her thinking.

Some fine examples are the time she asked me, "When's November 5th this year?" and on recently hearing our mate's band was going to be playing at the Deaf Institute in Manchester she actually thought he was going to be doing a charity gig for deaf kids. Bless.

A lot of her finest moments are related to cars. In the recent snow she sat for 3 hours on the motorway waiting for the AA man to turn up because an engine warning light had come on. Turns out that the little flashing light was actually trying to tell her she'd just driven 20 miles with the boot open.

I wasn't that suprised. Years ago we'd had a heated debated when she was telling me about an ex-housemates car that was borked...

Her: "Yeah, Barry's car was screwed, the carburetor had gone"
Me: "How do you mean?"
Her: "Well, it was like there was no engine in it"
Me: "What? It wouldn't start?"
Her: "No, it went, but it was like there was no engine in it?"
Me: "Cars don't go without an engine"
Her: "No, I mean like a radio controlled car..."

*fast forward 15 minutes*

Me: "I don't understand, do you mean it didn't accelerate properly?"
Her (getting angry) "NO! I told you! It was like it had no engine in it! Why don't you listen? My dad worked for Rover so I know about cars!"

*fast forward another 15 minutes*

Me: "Look, if it had no engine it wouldn't go at all. What EXACTLY do you mean?"
Her: "I mean it used to bounce around a lot!"
Me: "You mean the suspension was fucked?"
Her: "Yeah! That's it! The suspension had gone! What did I say? Oh yeah, well, carburetor's close innit?"

I've gotten used to it over the years. I always keep two glove puppets ready to explain hard stuff to her now. Wouldn't change her for the world though :)
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 14:12, Reply)