Pakistan.
There are two types of workplaces.

Workplaces where you start and are thrown into the deep end before you have even taken your coat off and workplaces where you seem to be on a never ending cycle of training programmes and workshops and other such bullshit. My work place is the second kind and due to my wonderful promotion from junior understudy window-licking dogsbody, to full trainee window-licker. I have had the great pleasure of working closely with Lisa for the last 6 weeks. Lisa is one of several dedicated training officers at my place of work, despite being just 21, barely literate and so shockingly woeful at life. She is charged with teaching all junior staff all aspects of their job.

Now to her credit she knows the ins and outs of every company process and knows the the answer to every FAQ any trainee can have about any aspect of the job. But this is because she has been there since she was about 12 when they kicked her out of school for bringing down the grade averages. This means she is fine for explaining the theory of things, but as soon as real life becomes involved she is useless.

Over the last few weeks she has.

Suggested a company we work with could be sued for passing on a client to us who they had listed as Nigerian when they were infact British.

Warned me against calling Slovakian people Slovakian, as they are Slovaks and they may be offended by this. Though she did stop shot of saying I will be sued.

Shown me countless slides, PowerPoint and handouts littered with the most basic and glaring spelling errors.

And of course my favourite. Forcefully insisting that Pakistan is not a country, just part of India.

Normally I would try to make anyone who said something so stupid feel like the mental midget they are. I would love to say 'Oh, so what damages could one expect to get when being called the wrong nationality?' However the only thing greater than this woman's ignorance is her arrogance and she really does not take kindly to being corrected, as it exposes her complete retardation to anything not found in a company handbook. Instead I have to sit back and think how fun it would be to wrap her in an Indian flag and send her on a moral building mission to the Pakistani side of Kashmir.
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Fri 19 Mar 2010, 19:48, 5 replies)

Yeah
infact, send the illiterate twat on a moral building mission.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 19:50, closed)

you beat me to it

( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 11:52, closed)

Workshop
Anyone who uses the term "workshop" who is not directly involved in light manufacturing should fed to sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads.
(champagnerocker, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 22:36, closed)

So apart from her spelling mistakes
did she stop SHORT or SHOT?
(Wagane, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 22:47, closed)

I wonder who did the proof reading on "Eats, Shoots and Leaves"
that would have been a serious job.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 0:52, closed)