teacher
whether this is stupidity, ignorance or a pig-headed unwillingness to listen to sweet reason, i just don't know.

back when i was a little Smash, my class and i were enjoying the last day of term. one of the lads in the class (YES, JOHN COWLEY, I MEAN YOU!) decided it'd be funny to throw my school bag out of the second-floor classroom window. now, i was not pleased by this, so i decided to retaliate. grabbing his bag(school bag, you perverts), i ran out of the classroom and dropped it over the balcony. with much yelliung and name-calling, he ran downstairs to fetch it. seeing a teacher approaching, he slid his new calculator out of his bag and removed the batteries. i knew what the sneaky little fucker was up to, so i ran after him.
"sir! sir!" he yelled, "she threw my bag downstairs and broke my new calculator!" and with that, he displayed his "broken" calculator to the teacher.
"is this true?" teacher asks me. "no, sir," i said, "he threw my bag out of the window, so i threw his down the stairs, but i never broke his calculator, he just took the batteries out of it so it looks broken."
"well, if you've broken it, you'll have to buy him a new one."
"i haven't broken it, he's just taken the batteries out, it's fine, sir."
"if you've broken it, you'll have to buy him a new one."
"but sir, i just told you, he's only taken the batteries out. look!" with that, i grabbed the little shit's hand and wrestled the batteries out of his sweaty palm. i snatched the calculator off dimwit teacher, inserted the batteries and switched it on. it worked just fine.
"see?" i said, "there's nothing wrong with it!"
"yes," says teacher, "but if you've broken it, you'll have to buy him a new one."
by this time, i'm losing the will to live.
"LOOK! IT'S NOT BROKEN!" i yelled, once again demonstrating the not-brokenness of the calculator.
"yes, but if you've broken it, you'll have to buy..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHHHH!!! FUCK OFF!"
you could have heard a pin drop in that corridor. i really thought expulsion was looming. turning on my heel, i ran back upstairs to the classroom, expecting to hear teacherly shouting behind me.
i don't know why, but nothing ever got said about it.
still, at least that twat Cowley left me alone afterwards.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 21:55, 1 reply)

Sweet reason or not it was just unwillingness to listen!

What an utter twat your teacher is/was!!!!
( Vambo, Tue 23 Mar 2010, 23:52, closed)