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This is a question Stupid Tourists

What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard a tourist say? Ever heard an American talking about visiting "Scotchland, England", or (and this one is actually real) a Japanese couple talking about the correct way to say Clapham is actually Clatham, as "ph" sounds are pronounced "th". Which has a certain logic really. UPDATE: Please, no more Loogabarooga stories. It's getting like, "and I opened my eyes and my mum had left me a cup of tea!"

(, Thu 7 Jul 2005, 16:31)
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"Clear"? Not really...
My ambulance was sent to an American tourist who was in cardiac arrest. As you may well know, defibrillation delivers electricity through the heart in an attempt to restart it and this must be done quickly. The amount of shock you deliver is measured in joules and whilst the amount varies for kids, all adult patients receive the same joule amount.
My partner was managing the patients’ airway and I was at the stage of delivering a 360 joule shock.
I verbalised this to my partner and on shouting the warning “All Clear?” – an urgent American voice shouted “Wait!”

Thinking a dangerous contact with the patient had been spotted I stopped and asked what was wrong.
The American replied “The patient is an American”.
Me: “Yes I know. What’s the problem?”
American: “I heard you say you were going to shock him with 360 joules.”
Impatient me: “That’s right…”
American: “Surely that should be 180 joules then?”
Me: “No.”
American: “But our voltages in the states are half of yours, so surely…”
I stopped listening to him at that point.

I truly wish this story were not true, but I would mention that I could hear the rest of the tour group, to their credit, berating the guy who interrupted me.
(, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 0:22, closed)

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