diffusing the situation
before i stopped being such a fat heifer, i was often the target of jibes from the local children. it never really bothered me and some of the remarks were quite funny.
one day, a young mother was walking down the road toward me with her son, who looked to have been no older than 3 or 4. looking at me, the boy cried "you've got big knickers!"
his poor mother looked positively mortified! smiling at the little fellow, i calmly replied "of course i've got big knickers, have you seen how big my bum is?"
his mother may have been shocked into silence, but the boy laughed his head off!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 15:30, 11 replies)

so your story is that you spread the situation across a wide area?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 15:49, closed)

hahahaha!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 15:50, closed)

Way to handle it!
My mom was so mad at me when I pointed out a lady's mustache, but she DID have a mustache.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 16:20, closed)

it's a tactic that's worked for me
the local kids stopped shouting things at me years ago. my house is even safe on mischief night!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 16:23, closed)

Apart from the chairs and sofas.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 17:33, closed)

they're perfectly safe nowadays
unless i have a laughing fit after a large drink....
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 17:48, closed)

Depends then
if you can keep your Poise?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 5 Nov 2011, 19:06, closed)

yep
but just in case, could you lend me a Tena?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 19:13, closed)

That Depends
(Maclir, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 13:12, closed)

Ms. Monkey -
I would be delighted with some photographic evidence as a form of visual proof as to the veracity of your claim about the size of your underwear and posterior.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 5 Nov 2011, 19:09, closed)

trust me
you wouldn't.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 5 Nov 2011, 19:12, closed)