Down with Breville, Swan all the way.
As a teenager, I liked nothing more than getting home from school and firing up the trusty old Swan toastie maker. This thing made cheese and bean toasties a delight and was pretty much what I looked forward to when getting home. After years of use, the Swan was looking a little worse for wear. It had gone from 1980's cream to some sort of foul-yellow. The rubber feet had long gone black, fallen off, and had been replaced by greasy cheese, it also stunk because it had managed to leak cheese into its own vents.

All that aside, it made beautiful toasties and never stuck. My parents however, were not convinced that this health-hazard was welcome in the kitchen. They decided to replace this monstrosity with the breville. They proudly bring home this white thing, with removable plates "look, these can go in the dishwasher" they say.

I wasn't convinced, this thing kept sticking, after numerous attempts to prime the plates with fat, it still preferred to marry itself to the toastie and rip it apart, or detach its plates around the sandwich. One day whilst stoned the incident happened. I was hungry, very hungry and a little incapacitated to make anything complex to eat. I waited for hours to muster up the energy to make a toastie, I gave it one last chance, it failed, detatched its plates and ripped my tasty delights to shreds.

The red mist descended.

After assessing the damage there was a: snapped butter knife, a knife shaped dent in the formica, a broken spatula lying in the sink and a smashed pint glass, presumably the unintended recipient of the spatula.

The breville was consigned to the bin, presumably to join the Swan in silicone heaven. I didn't eat toasties after that.

TL;DR - I smashed some stuff when a toastie maker stuck.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 23 Jul 2012, 12:48, Reply)