Teenage PartiesAh, the heady days when catering consisted of a crate of lager and some vodka illicitly extracted by whoever looked oldest, decoration consisted of removing any breakable furniture and the morning after was just the morning and not the rest of the week.
Tell us who you snogged, where you threw up and who just would not leave.
(
chthonic, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 10:20)
« Go Back
Misty watercolour memories of hairy bikersIt's cause for concern when you show up at a party where there are bikers. It's cause for panic when you're 15, blonde, dewy, and not blessed with good judgement.
What to do to avoid being featured on the news and having Jodie Foster win an Oscar playing me in a movie? Well, clearly I can't leave, because that would be the sensible thing. Fortunately, I brought my lucky purse.
I went over to the table where the biggest and hairiest were har-haring away, and spoke with a nearby iguana. "Gentlemen," I then address the group, "this reptile is dying of loneliness." I produced a green plastic lizard and placed it in the terrarium, advising the iguana gently that this was his wife and he needn't be lonely anymore. I then pulled out a small Bible and solemnised the union.
One of them tentatively tried to talk with me after that. I produced a small cheap toy pistol. "I brought down 17 of 'em down with this in the 'Nam," I said in my best gravelly American accent. "Don't think I won't do it again." He blinked for a while and then decided it wasn't worth it.
Result: saved virginity for another three months. W00t!
(, Sat 15 Apr 2006, 6:22, Reply)
« Go Back