Rejected
My mate lives with his Gran and Grandad and he's a bit of a mentalist* so when they went away he invited everyone to a house party.

A few weeks prior to the party this girl that I was madly in love with had got pissed, taken advantage of my caring nature and nearly raped me. Being the Gent I had a bit of a barney with her due to the fact she admitted she still loved her ex and I was just being used. She apologised a few days later and everything was hunky dory.

The party came around and everyone is drinking ridiculous amounts and taking loads of drugs. I start to feel a little sick so I decide to head to the toilet. I empty the contents of my stomach and start to clean myself up when the girl I am passionatly in love with walks in. I'm pissed - fuck it! Let's try and get some love. We start chatting and are having quite a coherent convo and i'm trying it on using my best lines until she turns around and says "Don't worry, i'm not going to get off with you". Missed the point entirely, love....

There have been other parties at this lads house quite recently which have involved my best mate leaving at daft o'clock at night because when me and my girlfriend were fucking we made too much noise and he couldn't get to sleep. We found him at half 5 in the morning, with a carrier bag full of drink playing on the bandits at the local service station. Why did the security guards let him get away with it? He works there!

*We were planning to have another party when they went away last summer but he told his Auntie that he was planning to kill himself and his Gran and Grandad thought it was best he went away with them.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Sat 15 Apr 2006, 11:07, Reply)