Well, We Tried to Teach Him....
The Boys name was Dave.

He was a pretty smart kid at chess, maths and the like, but he had the commen sense of a....well...lets share some examples.

First example...Minor...

My Friend Chad and I were walking with Dave to the local shop. We were teens at the time, going to get lots of suger for a purpose that would be in no way good. Dave likes to show off, see thats his thing...he just does it. If you're doing something, he had to prove he could do a better job, if ofcourse it was cool enough for him. So here we are walking and talking, dave sees a bottle over yonder and decides..'I'm gone go kick this and be right bad ass!', so he goes and does, as Chad and I watch. I'm fiddling with a "For Sale" sign stuck in the ground and realise that the thing isn't in the ground very good. So....I giggle and whisper to my friend Chad..a plan..that will sure to get some more giggles.
Dave gets back from "Teaching that bottle" when he sees me tugging on a for sale sign. I'm really pulling...or so it seems....and so I ask Chad to help me pull this hard bugger out of the ground...we make like we're pulling and pulling when..on que...Dave swarms in.

" Fuck Let Me!"

So we say "OK Dave try if you want"

So Dave runs over eager to show his manly man skills, and he pulls..

Well doesn't that fucker begin a journey to the moon, and Dave falls flat on his arse, and Chad and I Laughing like loons...he wasn't amused....

Second Example.....a little less minor...or could have been.

We are all out walking again..in our Canadian winter such as it is and we are crossing a bridge when My mate Chad decideds to offer up an Idea. Chad bought this mini game system...can't remember the exact name but it was like a game boy only lame, anyhow Dave was going to buy it off him. Chad says then and there, that if he jumps into the freezing creek, he'll just give it to him....this was supposed to be a joke...till we saw dave get up onto the endge of the bridge......we told him to not be such a dumb fucking cunt and to come down....eventually he did and thats a good thing. It was still 10 minutes walk to my house and 10 minutes is a long time to walk in freezing wet cloths in winter..and I didn't feel like caring for his dumb sick ass all weekend.

Example 3 ....fairly amusing

Dave and his best mate are fighting.....they do this on account that his best mate Shamus winds him up. All the time. Because it's easy.
Now...I'm not sure what Shamus did or said this time...but I do know that what ever it was, caused Dave to open the tool box and start hurrling spanners. Now Shamus doesn't throw back, he knows Dave is angry..he has entered "The Dave Rage" as we liked to call it, and couldn't hit a fucking thing. He would just spit, go red, yell and throw things.

Shamus managed to run around a corner and Dave fallows..screwdriver in hand. When dave finally makes the corner Shamus is standing in the doorway to the patio outside, and he's grinning like a motherfucker. Dave supreses the rage...and takes carefull aim. Not saying a word Shamus just nods at him with a foolish grim saying "Cmon Dave..throw it!"

Dave throws it.

The screw driver is right on target, heading Straight for Shamus's chest. and BANG!....but wait...

The screwdriver is hovering right in front of Shamus...and what are those cracks in mid air...getting slowly bigger?

Shamus had mannaged to close the glass patio door before Dave made it around that corner and they both watched as it continued to crack until it fell into shards.

He got a bollocking when his mom got home, and as always...for an unknown reason, Shamus got off scott free.

Apologies for Length...but I could go a lot longer. We tried to teach em but...
(Nihlistic_Alchemist Brand the Herd with Fashion, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 22:00, Reply)