Well, that taught 'em
Sammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
Sammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
( , Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
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Being a chemistry student is great
One day in my lab class, this utter cnut I desperately try to avoid is put in my group.
He does no work, while the rest of us run around like headless chickens doing his share.
We tell him to do his own work, he says "Why, YOU'LL lose marks too."
Eventually, after being plagiarised for nearly a month by this dip-shit, I decide, for the good of the group, that he needed to be taught a lesson.
The twunt in question always - ALWAYS - brought food into the lab. When he wasn't looking, I smuggled a couple of drops of phenolphthalene into his sandwich.
Phenolphthalene, for those of you who don't know, is not only a common acid/alkaline testing substance, but also one of the most powerful laxatives ever.
Inside 5 seconds it had entered his blood stream, by 10 seconds his bowels were filling with water, and at 20 he ran from the lab with a strange, brown snail trail issuing from his trouser legs.
Oh how I laughed, oh how he didn't, oh how I'm now failing my course!
( , Fri 27 Apr 2007, 11:29, Reply)
One day in my lab class, this utter cnut I desperately try to avoid is put in my group.
He does no work, while the rest of us run around like headless chickens doing his share.
We tell him to do his own work, he says "Why, YOU'LL lose marks too."
Eventually, after being plagiarised for nearly a month by this dip-shit, I decide, for the good of the group, that he needed to be taught a lesson.
The twunt in question always - ALWAYS - brought food into the lab. When he wasn't looking, I smuggled a couple of drops of phenolphthalene into his sandwich.
Phenolphthalene, for those of you who don't know, is not only a common acid/alkaline testing substance, but also one of the most powerful laxatives ever.
Inside 5 seconds it had entered his blood stream, by 10 seconds his bowels were filling with water, and at 20 he ran from the lab with a strange, brown snail trail issuing from his trouser legs.
Oh how I laughed, oh how he didn't, oh how I'm now failing my course!
( , Fri 27 Apr 2007, 11:29, Reply)
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