Well, that taught 'emSammi Evil Nice writes "I shared with two students, and it was always the same; whenever it was near to paytime, my milk *and only this* would disappear.
One of them, John, was a lovely bloke but allergic to nuts. John makes tea. Soon after, John starts swelling up.
ME: Runs, administers epi-pen. "You're going into anaphalactic shock."
HIM: "How do you know?"
ME: "I put almond oil in my milk."
What have you done to teach somebody a lesson?
(, Thu 26 Apr 2007, 14:54)
« Go Back
Not one for the ladiesI just went down the pub with a friend of mine from way back. Turns out his lass was seeing some bloke on the side... for 3 years or so.
Now, as you can imagine, he was in quite a state, but kept himself together long enough for one last piece of genius.
He went round to hers the day they broke up looking for a good time, and brought a gift to spice up their bed times together.
The gift was one of those all metal vibrators.
She loved the idea, and was even more pleased when he said that it 'heats up' so it's not too cold for her to use by herself.
Did I mention that this friend of mine is an Electronics student?
He'd set up a nice little system to charge several capacitors inside the vibrator, hence the warming effect, and then discharge a certain voltage through the metal casing of the thing about five minutes after it was turned on.
He said he tried it out on his arm and it had felt funny for days after, so if you see a lass in Sheffield walking like John Wayne you know why.
(
Pointy Head poked another hole in my anorak on, Fri 27 Apr 2007, 21:47,
Reply)
« Go Back