Ice-creamy goodness, £3.89.
I like nice food. When in the supermarket I will buy nice food, so I can enjoy it later, it tastes better than the Value stuff, bar a few exceptions. One housemate I was sharing with also liked my nice food and would liberally help himself to it, which was fine, ocassionally. The housemate however, was quite a tall lad, and his capacity for devouring it far outstripped my budget for aquiring quality comestibles. This would extend to dishes that I had prepared for myself, for lunches or dinners the following days.

I mentioned this to him and he did apologise, and promised to get some shopping in, which after days of nagging, he did not. On the rare days I had seen him arrive home with shopping bags, they usually contained assorted Value goods and bizarrely, packet upon packet of the really shit jelly with the transparent wrapper, so had the goods been replaced, they would have been of a significantly lower quality. However, more time elapsed and the shop was not done.

On surveying the contents of his cupboards for replacement food, I found a stack of Value tuna, some Value tomato soup, some packets of Value jelly and half a packet of lentils, despite the fact he recently came into some money. (In the form of a ten grand claim and a promising, lucrative new career in drag.) Tight, selfish bastard, I thought. Even more so as I had the girlfriend over for the weekend and have nothing to make us for tea. So I trundle back to the supermarket to purchase more food.

I pick up supplies for myself and the girlfriend, and also a large tub of Ben and Jerrys Cookie Dough. We spend the evening eating ice-cream and watching TV and finish the tub, which we leave by the side of the sofa to retire to bed for a little while. After 'doing the romance', we surveying the post-sex debris scattered across my bedroom floor. There are four used condoms. We retrieve the now jizz-filled rubbers and put them in the Ben and Jerrys tub. We go to the freezer and find some Value ice-cream. I put some in the tub with the condoms, along with some milk, and mash it all up. I push the condoms to the bottom of the tub and put the tub in the freezer for a while. We go back to bed.

I find the housemate is looking in the freezer, mumbling "Oh, Ben and Jerrys" as I nip to the kitchen for a glass of water. "There's some left, help yourself" I reply as I retire to bed. I checked out the tub shortly after, he'd made a good start on it before he lost his appetite. Yeow!

That'll teach the greedy bastard.
(nathanielle_jones, Thu 3 May 2007, 13:59, Reply)