They all float down here
There's a real inherent problem with supermarket management; they're not quite qualified for a real career, but they're a bit too big for your temporary McJob. The resulting notion for your author and his army of shelfstackers is that you go through them faster than Janet Street Porter does dental floss.

First manager was called Freddy. Built like a shithouse and worked from home. Seeing an opportunity, so did we. That lasted a week.

Second manager was a simplistic divorcee called Damien. Every time he came into my vision I'd scream the music from The Omen, customers or no customers. 3 weeks later he had a breakdown, which led to...

Third manager. Carrie. I'm beginning to spot an underlying horror movie theme emerging in my superiors, yet before I can mention it I'm falling victim to a sobering welcoming speech. 'I'm Carrie and I'm in charge. Your break will be at 2pm (I started at 5am) and you may go to the bathroom once at 11am and that will be all. Your holidays will be decided by me next week. Is there anything you want to say?'

'The Geneva Convention'

'What?', she quipped.

'The Geneva Convention. That's G-E-N-E-V-A if you want to look it up. I'm pretty sure you can't tell me when and how often I can go for a piss (I think I may have been wrong, but who was going to call my bluff?).' So that relationship started sour, and quickly plummeted.

As luck would have it, a few months in and she spills the beans that she's off as well. Despite the tensions, she tells the department that we're all welcome to buy her a leaving gift, but as she's petrified of clowns and spiders she's given us a list of what she wants us to buy her.

List binned, I went and brought her a dvd:

ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Uv9AmNEPL._SS500_.jpg

Realising this could cause a bit of a breakdown when she opened it, I thought I'd add to the contents with something a bit more family friendly: a black rubber tarantula.

Best written warning I ever got. If I could find it, I'd frame it.
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:48, 3 replies)

The Geneva convention?
Unless it was a very, very violent workplace then I'm not sure that the Geneva convention(s) would apply....
(Boar is dreaming of get rich quick schemes..., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 16:57, closed)

Data protection act
Any Employer must (under this act) provide you with a copy of every document they have that has your name on it at your request. Ask Personnel for a copy of it and they're required by law to give you your very own copy for you to frame and giggle over.
(SCar, Sat 20 Jun 2009, 3:58, closed)

ooh, in that case...
I think I love you.

wish me luck!
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Sun 21 Jun 2009, 17:44, closed)