Bleh
I seem to have worked for a succession of slightly odd bosses...

Exhibit A: Hotel owner, 45-47 years of age. Thought he was a working class hero (despite Daddy's country mansion and career in the colonial service). Would take all the petty cash to buy drugs, would fuck his paranoid porcine wife in the bar of the hotel whilst we were cleaning up. Obsessed with birds. Picked up a prostitute and brought her back to the hotel 'for dinner'.

Exhibit B: Middle Management type. Aged about 50. Weak chinned. Belonged to a bizarre Christian sect which claimed the second coming of Christ had happened in Kent 800 years ago. Tucked his trousers into his socks. His belt was about level with his diaphragm. Hid behind pot plants trying to over hear conversations that were 'unbecoming at work'.

Exhibit C: Lower management. Aged about 35. Obsessed with foreigners coming over here and stealing our jobs. Was sent to India to work with some IT contractors. Pissed them off after complaining that only Indian food could be found in India, and why couldn't they get some fish and chips in.

Exhibit D: Book store owner. Aged about 40. Drunkard. His wife was a slattern who attempted to seduce anything with a dick. Got so drunk he locked himself in the toilet, passed out and when he came to became convinced that it was some massive conspiracy to allow his workers to sleep with his wife. Smashed up his own shop in a rage.

Exhibit E: Company Director. Aged about 45, but with the intellect, social poise and grace, and humour of an 8 year old boy who enjoys stabbing cats with coat hangers. Also devoutly Christian. Used the organisation of the Holocaust as an analogy for the successful running of a company. Frequently had dried egg stains on his tie. Once had the police called to his house because he'd left his 6 and 8 year old children alone there whilst he and his wife went to a weekend Christian retreat.

Exhibit F: Supermarket manager. Age indeterminate. Eyebrows that met in the middle. Wore the collar of his shirt far too tight, making his adam's apple look like a gigantic red pustule. Greasy hair. Was engaged in dubious sexual practices with shelf stackers (of both sexes) employed from local schools for work experience. Regularly stole alcohol from the store. Only ate pasties, scotch eggs, and pork pies. Was convinced that he'd been abducted by aliens. Smelt faintly of mayonnaise.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sun 21 Jun 2009, 0:17, Reply)