Money Grabbing Cockmunchers
Also known as Financial Advisors. My first real job was working for such people up in London. I was part of the back office admin team, separate from the main office where the advisors themselves sat, smugging it up like the self-satisfied tossbags they were. Our manager was a fairly decent person, but the company director was one of the biggest arseholes I've ever known. Here are just some examples of his dickheadery;

- The company name was in two parts. The first, naturally, was the Director's surname, the second was taken from the name of the building the office was in. That way, when people saw the address XXX YYY, Floor 5 YYY House, their natural assumption was that the company owned the entire building, rather than renting out a small office on one floor of it.
To this day I can't decide whether this is an example of exceptional genius or utter twattery.

- While I was with the company a young lass joined us for two week's work experience. Her dad was an old friend of the Director's, and he'd asked if she could be shown the ropes of the financial industry, where she was hoping to work once she graduated. Instead, the Director took full advantage of having his own little unpaid office gimp, and got her filing all the old documents from previous years.
Understandably not pleased with being left to do all the boring old jobs nobody else could be arsed to do (and after some encouragement from myself and other admin staff), she left after four days and finished her work experience somewhere else.

- My colleage Anthony told me one day about the time he'd been writing up an email when the Director strolled up to him and asked what he was doing.
"I'm just sending AXA an email to let them know that Mr Johnson isn't a client of ours anymore." Anthony told him.
"No need for that," the Director replied, "if they don't know he's left us, they'll keep paying us commission."

"Isn't that, kind of, y'know, fraud?" I asked Anthony when he told me about this.
"Yes," he said, "Yes it is."

- One of the team of advisors was the Director's son. He was one of the smuggest little pricks I've ever seen. His wank bank probably consists of nothing but pictures of his own over-inflated head, that's how much he was in love with himself.
Predictably, he wasn't even that great at the job, but naturally everyone had to treat him like royalty, because he was Daddy's little boy.

- I eventually left the company after several months, basically on the Director's whim. You see, I was employed on a temporary-to-permanent basis, only in all the time I was there none of the bosses ever got round to filling in the necessary paperwork for taking me on permanently.
Then one day the Director decided that paying agency fees on top of my wages was too much of a drain on his precious funds, so told the Assistant Director to tell the Office Manager to tell me not to bother coming back tomorrow. Never mind that I was effectively the only person who knew how to do my job properly, the other guy having left a week or so before, and his replacement still not fully trained.
This rather cuntish move wasn't well recieved by my co-workers. The office manager spent most of our meeting apologising profusely to me (and later went out and bought me a bottle of Jack Daniels by way of apology), and Anthony stormed into the Assistant Director's office and had a big rant at her about how it could have been avoided if someone had just taken the time to fill out the right forms.
As for me, I just walked back to my desk, dumped a load of papers in the bin, pocketed all the stationery I could find, and then sat reading b3ta till 5:00. Truth be told, I was glad to see the back of the place.

So there you have it. My account of one of the slimiest, money-loving bosses ever. Everyone I was on friendly terms with when I worked there has since left the company, with their own tales of dissatisfaction. I had a brief look on google just now, hoping the company would turn out be a casualty of the recession but, vultures that they are, it appears they're doing better than ever. Gits.
(Uncle Comrade, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 20:10, Reply)