Penny pinching to the last
So this post is mainly for the sake of posting as it's been so many years. By the way whatever happened to frankspencer and apeloverage and legless?

Anyway. The first job I ever had was at Subway and I was 14 years old. The man in charge was such a cunt, at times his caricature antics, appearance and accent made him less a figure of hatred for me then bemusement and disbelief but most of the time I really wanted to see this guy get stuck in the damn freezer.

He would berate me over the stupidest of things because he was such a tight-arse, I'd had complaints from him that I was never to give more than 6 slivers of olives on any 1 sub because they were too expensive, he once docked $10 pay from my 4 hour shift at an illegal $5 an hour (paid in cash to avoid troublesome minimum wage issues) because he said the till was down $20, he took the remaining 10 from the other person on shift. He also once spent hours mopping soft drink syrup off the floor with paper towels and squeezing it back in to the drink dispenser because he didn't want to replace the dropped syrup. But you know the man was so stereotypically Asian and so thickly accented and had such fascinatingly cartoony facial expressions that sometimes I just couldn't help but laugh.

I'll never forget the time that my 15 year old co-worker came in on her day off to buy some lunch. She'd been on holiday for a few months and we'd not seen her for a while. When she finished and left, the old boss was brimming with something he desperately wanted to say, his grin was bigger than I'd ever seen him produce and he could barely contain himself, he'd thought of something that was clearly the funniest joke ever made and I would be privileged to hear it too. "Stumps, stumps *sniggers* stumps *sniggers* Samantha has grown......." the smile still implying further insight to come "Samantha has grown SIDEWAYS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" to illustrate his point he extended his arms from his chest to demonstrate his estimate of how ample her bust had become. Yeh, he was a charming fellow, he also told me that when my sister had applied for a job he couldn't give it to her because she looked too overweight and would eat all the food and cost him too much money.

I think what really describes this man best as a boss and maybe as a person is that he would routinely spend at least an hour a day watching the CCTV footage of the person on shift the night before (usually me) handling the till, presumably to make sure we didn't steal any money or worse yet his precious sub-club tokens. This little man was like a 1970's British comedy impersonation of 'foreigners' and really I've never met anyone more cheap since. 3 Cheers for Martin, the stingiest, creepiest manager ever.
(StumpsForArms&NoEyebrows, Tue 23 Jun 2009, 23:52, Reply)