I don't know if this counts
but have it anyway.

This is the story of a stag night an old boss of mine told me. He was a good 20 years older than me at the time, but loved to regale me with tales of his wild and excessive younger days - mostly shagging and drinking - with a divorce and the failing of a promising football career thrown in.

The stag night was in his home town of Paisley I believe. Paisley - Scotland's smelly, methadone addicted armpit. Anyway, it was a typical, cliched, unoriginal boys stag night. They got really drunk, went to some strip clubs, possibly a brothel, and just got up to crap mischief.

Then, the climax (possibly an unfortunate choice of word) of the evening...what to do with the stag? Now, a blow up doll had been bought either for or during the evening, and a plan was conceived.

First, he was stripped. Then, tied to a lamppost. Ho ho ho very original I hear you say. Well, they had a plan. The doll was then tied to the stag and he was left to it. What's so funny about you say?

Well.

He wasn't just tied _to it_ he was also placed...um...inside it. Yes dear reader, he was given an erection, which was manhandled (eek) into the doll's hole...and he was left there. In the street. Erect. Inside a blow-up doll.

Now. 3 questions come to mind when I think about this story, and I asked them at the time, and to this day they remain unanswered.

1 - Who the chuffing fuck came up with the "give him a hard-on" idea!?
2 - How must he have felt when he became aroused by one of his drunken mates wanking him off in the street??
3 - Who the CUNTING FUCK volunteered to do it to him!!??

There will be no blow-up dolls at my stag...and neither will this old boss. Thank you for your time.
(Zutroy started without you, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 1:26, 2 replies)

Aaaaah
Good ole Paisley, the centre is a veritable ghost town these days...Inhabited by the poor, the addicted, the pathetic, and those who can't drive...


not as grim as Johnstone though
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:01, closed)

not quite a ghost town
every time I head into the centre there are always baby goths hanging round that statue in the square.

and that strange woman at the bus station that picks up cigarette ends O.o
(panda_sam, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 10:27, closed)