Can I just say that I think the 'Springsteen' Jokes this week have been despicable. You won't find me doing anything like that...

...and I’ve also been a bit hard on my previous bosses, so I thought I would tell you about a time when I actually had a very successful time with a very accommodating boss.

I had a brief stint working in America, and the team I worked with was under the charge of a hot-bloodied, Latino beauty called Rosalita.

The flirting and sexual chemistry was 'Magic'. It crackled between us, and seemed to intensify by the hour…until one day I could not stand it any more, I knew I had to ask her out. I wasn’t about to ask her at the office so I waited until she went home. I followed her.

After waiting a minute to pluck up the courage, I shouted at her window: “Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)!". Eventually, she wiggled out of the front door and I saw a very different woman to the dour demure lady who had become my trusted manager. I actually think she was stoned or something because she was 'Dancing in the Dark' all the way to my car.

I was transfixed, overjoyed at the prospect of not having to endure another 'Lonesome Day', I had a feeling that this place was going to be my 'Lucky Town'.

As she slid into the car, I tuned the stero into the local station: ‘Radio Nowhere’ and began to drive. Within a minute, the delightfully filthy scutter had her 'Human Touch' on my thigh, and I began to feel ‘The Rising’ in my underpants…

I quickly found a layby and parked in 'The Darkness on the Edge of Town', and she began to massage my monumental member like a fully paid up professional, as if she was 'Born To Run' her hand up and down my shaft like it was a heavily greased up battered Saveloy. However, despite her incredible efforts, I could not make it past half-stonk...

It certainly wasn’t one of my 'Glory Days', and me trying to explain the lacklustre case of damp cement in my concrete obelisk by saying I had a ‘Hungry Heart’ didn’t do too much to keep the romance of the situation.

She seemed to know what to do to get me going. She stepped out of the car, then bent seductively over the American flag design on the car bonnet. I didn’t need asking twice, and before long I was pumping away enthusiastically at her ‘Tunnel Of Love’ from behind. To keep my wood solid she shouted various dirty slogans and showed me pictures from various ‘art pamphlets’ that she kept in her handbag. After a couple of minutes, her eyes lit up with an idea to keep me rigid.

Rosalita looked at me with a smouldering glare. “Give it to me up ‘Thunder Road’”, she implored, before producing a small pot of ‘Philadelphia’ spreadable cheese and smearing it over her puckering chutney cupboard to aid lubrication.

“Are you sure?” I asked tentatively. “I’ve never pushed it up ‘The Badlands’ before”

“Go on…you know you want to…” She purred.

I shoe-horned my twitching phallus into her eager Marmite Motorway and began to go at her like a pneumatic drill. “I don’t know how long I can keep going, I think I’m going to snap my cock off!” I pleaded.

“Harder!” She screamed. “I want you to prove to me that you can go the distance. 'Prove It All Night'!”

But a couple more minutes was all I could muster. I spaffed and spaffed until there was little more coming out of my poor cock end than 'Devils And Dust'.

As I pulled out, spent, I then began to feel an instant irritation in my todger, which before long began to feel like it was on 'Fire'. The slag had given me the clap!

Then, before I knew what was happening, she pushed me over, stole my car, and sped away, leaving me desperate and lonely with my trollies round my ankles. I knew I would have a 'Long Walk Home'.

And that, dear friends, is my story of ‘Porn in the U.S.A’
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:48, 6 replies)

You always make me feel like
My Best Was Never Good Enough.
I am Part Man, Part Monkey compared to you.
I Wanna Be With You.
(w4I4q1O1 was hard at work on, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:56, closed)

Aww....

This post is a quick re-write.

I had a whole other story ready, based on the punchline 'Born To Pun', but then I discovered it had bindun.

buggerflaps.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 9:58, closed)

I didn't bother
with the 'born to pun' either. I briefly considered doing something about the avine molester with the abundant foreskin and incredibly bad personal hygiene but I frankly could not be bothered spending 30 minutes on something that ends with the words'sheeps of willydelphia'
(Fausted Sticking his faust where the sun don't shine, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:03, closed)

Well I for one thought this was fucking clever, funny and well thought out
I counted 20 Springsteen song titles in your post, including Born in the USA.

what do i win?

have a click
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:04, closed)

Love it love it
Brilliant. I wonder if she 'jumped a little higher' when you finally spaffed. *click*.
( Scrumper, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:08, closed)

Arf!...

Cheers,

It's all Bruce's fault. If he didn't want his titles being used as euphamisms for rudie holes, then he shouldn't have written songs like 'Tunnel of Love', 'The Badlands', and (god help me) - 'Thunder Road'


That's just asking for it.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 25 Jun 2009, 12:21, closed)