It was a long time ago
and i had just moved into my first flat with the now ex Mrs Pie. This was above a shop but with a seperate access door so you didn't have to go through the shop to get to the flat. The shop itself specialised in selling top end designer trainers and because the owner had fallen foul of the local scallys kicking the front door in to get to the Chav gold behind it he had recently installed state of the art security shutters over the doors and windows.

Now you have the background our (crap) story starts one Saturday morning. I had dragged myself out of my pit after a heavy night on the beer and was feeling the worse for wear to say the least. After gathering the empties from the previous nights alcohol fest i staggered downstairs with it all in a carrier bag wearing nothing but my many holed and semen shattered dressing gown. I got to the front door, unlocked it and went to open it......
Nothing! It didn't move. Have I made a mistake and not unlocked the door? No its definitely unlocked. I could just make out a vague shape in front of the door through the frosted glass so i put my shoulder to it and gave an almigthy hung over heave.
There was a grating noise and the door opened enough for me to squeeze through the resulting small gap. Outside I could see the cause of the obstruction. Someone had neatly stacked a large pile of house bricks in front of the door. Apparently the local Neds having found their attempt to get a free fix of Adidas crack foiled by the very expensive shutters had simply made their own entrance through the back wall of the shop by chiselling out the bricks in the night and we, being so heavily sedated with alcohol, had failed to hear a thing.

Worse the bastards had stolen our wheelie bin to presumably use it to make getting away with their ill gotten gains easier, even going as far as to pick the day after bin day to plan their robbery so they knew that the bin would be empty! I did the only thing i could do and dumped the dripping bag in the neighbours bin before going back to bed
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 12:06, Reply)